Kamis, 09 Februari 2017

Sex Education Should Start in the Christian Home

Sex Education Should Start in the Christian Home

Sex Education Should Start in the Christian Home
When I was a sophomore in high school, a senior girl took it upon herself to tell me about her sexual experience. She knew that she was speaking to someone who was notoriously naive and inexperienced, and I could tell that she relished the opportunity to educate me in these few minutes at the end of a study hall. I’ll never forget her telling me:
Of course, we don’t have sex when I’m on my period, because I don’t want to get pregnant!
I smiled and nodded, wondering how a girl could get to be 18 years old and sexually active with so little understanding of how procreation actually works. She honestly thought that the week of her period was her most fertile week of the month. By some miracle, she made it out of high school without getting pregnant, but it wasn’t because she was being smart about it. She had obviously been misinformed, probably by another girl or her boyfriend, all because their parents assumed that kids find out how this stuff works SOMEWHERE, and they were personally far too embarrassed to bring up the subject with their kids.
To top it off, this girl had no notion at all that what she was doing might be the wrong thing. She certainly didn’t seem to think having sex with her boyfriend was something to keep quiet about. She was proud of what she was doing.
That was back in the early ’90s, which were utterly wholesome times compared to the world that our kids are now growing up in. Internet pornography has changed everything about our culture, and our children are more vulnerable than ever before to experience abuse, unexpected pregnancy, sexual addiction, and unhealthy and damaging views of sex.
Christian homes should be the most open, honest and comfortable places for kids and teens to learn and ask questions about sex. Let me make my case, Christian parents. If you are embarrassed to talk to your kids about sex, get over it. Here’s why.
The world is already teaching our kids about sex.
It’s teaching them that sex is casual. Selfish. It says that sex is purely physical. That it means nothing.  That it is about feeling good and getting what you want and nothing more. The world tells our kids that they are sexual objects. That they are only worth as much as another person’s level of sexual desire for them. It says that if they aren’t having sex they’re worthless, and that if they are having sex, they’re sluts. This world tells even our youngest little ones that they are defined by their physical attributes. It tells them that they exist for sexual pleasure and that they are even identified by what kind of sexual desires that they have.
As Christian parents we MUST be the very first people in our kids’ lives to educate them about sex. We need to explain from the beginning what God created it to be. About the sacred beauty of marriage. And, we need to work to de-emphasize the all-encompassing sexual obsession of our culture. The only way we can do that is by talking honestly about sex with our kids, from younger-than-you-think ages. It’s our job to place sex in the proper context, to provide our kids with a God-centered view of themselves and what sex was created to be. If we don’t teach our kids about sex, plenty of other people with a completely different set of values and an opposite worldview will gladly step up to do the job.
Pornography is coming for our kids.
The pornography industry wants to get our kids hooked, like it got so many boys in my generation hooked. It is a huge, insidious machine that wants nothing more than to continue raking in billions of dollars at the expense of families everywhere. If you think your kids are immune, that they “would never look at that,” then you are sadly mistaken. As Christian parents, we should already be talking about pornography before our kids are ever exposed. We should be warning about the dangers of the Internet, and we MUST install Internet filters on ALL devices that our families own. If we aren’t doing this, we’re throwing our kids straight into the waiting jaws of the pornographers.
We are pro-life.
We may sign every pro-life petition that comes our way. We may constantly preach about the sanctity of life. We may donate money to a crisis pregnancy center. But, if we aren’t talking to our kids about sex (not just once, but throughout their childhood and teen years), then we are truly failing to live out our pro-life views within our own family. We can’t send our children out there with no sense of what sex was designed to be and with no real knowledge of how their bodies work or how reproduction happens. We MUST be open with our kids and acknowledge how strong sexual desire is and how hard it can be to wait until marriage. We need to instill in our kids a reverence for marriage and for their future spouse, and above all, we must show our kids that holiness is a life-long pursuit that includes the difficulty of denying ourselves sexual pleasure until marriage. A huge part of the pro-life movement is and should be sex education. It starts with us.
Sexual orientation isn’t a given.
In this strange culture that our kids are growing up in, many will begin to question their sexual orientation or even be told by others that they are gay. They need to be able to talk to us when these questions come up. We should be there to reassure them, to guide them in working through their fears, and to constantly be streaming the word of God in their ear, always leading them back to the holiness and goodness of God. The last thing I want is for my children to feel like I am not where they can turn if these feelings come up. I want to be the first place they run to, and I will be if we have a long history of talking openly about sex.
If we start young, we can easily keep the conversation going.
If your child is a teenager and you haven’t opened up a conversation about sex, just do it. It will be awkward and weird, but don’t miss your opportunity to influence him, here and now, while you have him in your house. Invite him to share his struggles with you, and give him godly guidance, even if he doesn’t act like he wants to hear it. He needs to hear it.
But, if you have younger kids, you have a golden opportunity to open this conversation during a phase of life when they aren’t self-conscious and embarrassed. Start small in age-appropriate ways, and begin an open-ended, ongoing discussion that leaves plenty of room for questions and honest talk. And, don’t stop talking. Just keep it going. Check in every once in awhile. Ask questions about what she has heard. Find out if she has questions to ask you. If you are especially feeling awkward about it, talk in the car so that you don’t have to look each other in the face. You may both talk more easily that way.
As Christian parents, we want to disciple our kids and lead them in the ways of God. We can’t fool ourselves into thinking that sex education isn’t a huge part of discipleship. Sexual sin is dangerous and rampant, and it always has been. We can’t help our kids deal with the incredible pull of sexual desire unless we talk about it. Will it feel awkward? Maybe, at first. But, it’s nothing we can’t handle. Sex shouldn’t be a dirty word in Christian homes. If we want our kids to think biblically about sex and about their own worth, then we have to teach them what the Bible says about it, one conversation at a time.

10 Ways to Get Teens to Own the Youth Ministry

10 Ways to Get Teens to Own the Youth Ministry

10 Ways to Get Teens to Own the Youth Ministry
One of the most amazing things you’ll ever do in youth ministry is empower your students to take ownership of the youth ministry. After all, it’s their ministry (or should be, if it’s not).
I’ll certainly never forget my youth pastor allowing me to serve and empowering me to do so. It all started with just letting me make the announcements and emcee youth group…and 18 years later I’m a youth worker myself and I’m not only empowering teens to take ownership of the ministry but I’m coaching other youth workers to follow some of the same steps I learned from my youth pastor!
I want to share with you 10 ways you can get teens to own the youth ministry:
1. Announcements! – I couldn’t help but put this one on the list since it was my first role in youth group. Give up the mic to a teenager!
2. Games – If you plan to do a game (or two) during the course of your meeting together, have one of your students plan for the game and then allow them to run it!
3. Greeting – Have students be the first contact when someone walks through the doors of your facility. Prepare a welcome table and get a few students to welcome guests.
4. Snacks – I don’t know about students in your ministry, but we have a few students who are really great bakers! They can whip up a batch of cookies in no time, too. Get a few teens who like baking (or maybe like eating?) to prepare the snacks for your youth group!
5. Photographer – We’ve got a few students who are amazing photographers. Because of their heart for ministry and their creative eye, we’ve made them our resident photographers! It may be easy to find out who these folks are…just check out their Facebook photos or notice the camera in their hand!
6. Prayer – I love when students lead our meetings in prayer. Solicit teens (ahead of time) who feel comfortable praying in front of your group and give them the mic!
7. Social media – Encourage your teens to take ownership of your youth group’s Facebook page, Twitter or whatever social medium you use. Have students update your social media platforms (under your direction) and share your ministry with the world!
8. Connecting with other teens – Teens can come up with great ways to reach out to their peers. Allow your students to lead your group in connecting with new students and with those who might be missing in action too.
9. Lead mission & service projects – Pull together students who are excited about missions or serving and empower them to lead a project for your youth ministry. Help coach them through all the logistics, but let them coordinate the projects!
10. Sharing – One of the best decisions I ever made was giving up the mic to allow teens to share talks or stories with the group. You should coach teens who plan to share ahead of time, but empower them to teach or preach.
Encouraging and empowering your students to do the work of the ministry will go a long way in helping steer them away from being consumers and help them become life-long participants in the Kingdom.

Free Youth Series: “Represent”

Free Youth Series: “Represent”

Free Youth Series

Download this 2-week series to share with your youth ministry.
From Open Network, “Evangelism should be central to a Christian’s life, and in this series, we’ll look at how older kids can bring share Jesus with their spheres of influence. Help students discover that it’s how they live—not what they say—that helps Jesus to others.”
This kids series package includes:
  • Promo video
  • Intro/close
  • Leader guides
  • Message videos


Get Download Now

Resource provided by Open Network

5 Qualities to Look for in a Youth Pastor

5 Qualities to Look for in a Youth Pastor.

Occasionally I offer a blog by a guest blogger. Today’s post comes from my friend and youth pastor expert Jeremy Best. Jeremy has served in student ministry for many years and is one of the most knowledgable guys around on the subject. He speaks with wisdom on the qualities to look for in a youth pastor.
You’re looking for the wrong qualities in your youth pastor.
I’ve been through the hiring and interview process a few times, have helped churches design job descriptions, and I’ve walked with other youth pastors as they’ve gone through the job hunt. Through all of this a few trends have emerged, but one stands out clearly – churches don’t have a grasp on the type of person their youth pastor needs to be. They get caught up looking for someone who checks off the boxes in the usually unrealistic job description and who seems to have that classic youth pastor look and feel (which is entirely subjective and typically based on the past experience – good or bad – of the people conducting the search). Because of this, churches often either hire the wrong person or miss out on great candidates that didn’t happen to meet their criteria.
So, let me submit 5 qualities to look for in your next youth pastor.
1. Horses over Cattle.
What does it take to get a horse to run? Not a whole lot. It’s in their nature. In fact, if you’re riding a horse you’ll hold on to the reins to slow the horse down or change its direction. But, what does it take to get cattle to move? A prod, an electric stick that shocks the cow to get them to move. Sure, cows are easier to control, but you’re much better off hiring a horse that you have to rein in from time to time than a cow that you’re constantly prodding just to get them moving.
2. Character over Charisma.
Charisma is by definition, attractive. People are drawn to charismatic leaders. Churches will often look for a charismatic leader whom people will be drawn to. Charisma isn’t a bad thing to have in a youth pastor, but it shouldn’t be a priority. What you need in a youth pastor is someone who will draw students to Jesus, not to themselves. Hire character. Look for a person who is deeply respected by those that know them and that is deeply in love with Jesus. This person will lead students to Jesus. If they happen to have charisma too, bonus!
3. Potential over Pedigree.
It seems every church is looking for someone with a master’s degree and 5-10 years experience.  They want someone with a good pedigree, and for good reason. Experience is extremely valuable. But, don’t limit your search based on how many years someone has been working. Look for potential. Look for someone who wants to prove they can do the job and is willing to work their butt off to do it. That person could be someone who has the education and the experience, but it could also be someone who’s still looking for their first shot.
4. Relational over Relevant.
Relevance is likely the most overrated quality churches look for in youth pastors. The idea that typically lies behind it is a good one – hire someone who the teens can relate to.  Yes, do that. But that doesn’t mean a youth pastor needs to dress like, talk like, or act like a teenager. What a youth pastor needs to be is relational. Find someone who cares deeply about teens and legitimately enjoys spending time with them, and that person will become relevant to your teens because he cares about them.
5. Curator over Custodian.
A custodian’s task is important, but limited. They are hired to care for a space, to keep it clean, tidy, and in good working order. However, a curator is a specialist in their area and are hired, typically by museums and art galleries, to design exhibitions. Curators determine what pieces are important and how they should be displayed. Many churches are looking to hire custodians for their youth ministry.  They want someone to make sure the program runs well and to keep the kids out of trouble. Aim higher for your church, hire a curator. Hire someone who will specialize in youth ministry and youth culture. Then trust and empower them to create a program that meets the unique needs of your church and community.
What quality would you add to this list?
Jeremy blogs at jeremyjbest.com.
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