BEGINNING OF A MALE PORN STAR'S CAREER

Beginning of a Male Porn Star’s Career
3/05/2008
My name is Ryan and I am an "Ex-Porn star"!
I was known as Trent Roe/Rowland. I was in the business in 1994-95. I did nothing but
straight sex. I thought that I had fulfilled a lifelong dream by moving to L.A. to be a
carpenter just like my brother and it just wasn’t enough! I told the friends back home in
Fox Lake Illinois that I was going to California to, “Get Paid to Get Laid”! When in
actuality, I was in it to get revenge on women. I had been in a few bad relationships and
was faithful every time. I was hurt and only by a few women. I craved “REVENGE”. It
took me 7 years to find the industry not even knowing, I lived in “The Valley of Porn” in
the San Fernando Valley.
On New Years Eve 1994, I was driving down White Oak Avenue a block from my house
and I saw a blonde in a BMW. I smiled and she waved back. That was Teri Ray/Rey. She
pulled over right behind me and I got her number. I called her a few days later and went
to her house around the corner from mine. In minutes we were on her bed having sex and
then she sprung it on me. Her line of work was a Porn star and the first thought I had was,
that I had just been infected with H.I.V.! She saw the look on my face and could tell I
was terrified. She assured me that everything was o.k. and that everyone is regularly
tested (once, 1-ce, Once) a month. For some reason my heart started to beat again. She
informed me that my talents could be used to make money. Thus, the “Beginning of a
Porn Star’s Career”!
She introduced me to a roommate of hers named Warren Scott. He wanted to get stoned,
so I ran home and got him a bag of weed. I had been selling pot for years. He continued
to try and convince me that we looked like brothers and that we could be the “Next
Sensation” in the porn industry. After about 2 ounces later and 2 month’s had gone by, I
fell. I needed the money and Warren was a pretty cool cat, and a great “Drug Customer”!
He had all the contacts and convinced me that we could get rich. He said “if you can do
this, you can do anything”!
I came up with the name Trent Rivers and for some reason that got screwed up on every
shoot!?? Go figure! The first was the worst and I can’t even tell you why, but I pulled
through and got my first check. Gee, $100.00 for 45 minutes. That was what I was
making as a carpenter in 8 hours. I, like most, kept my day job and did shoots when
Warren would call me and I could make the time. I was cool with it and within a month I
had a reputation. We were kickin’ the crap out of the “Rick and Dave Show”! That’s
what our goal was. Rick and Dave were pigs and we wanted to be bigger and
better/professional.
However, my fear got the better of me. By now I was getting calls from every producer in
the business, Jon Morgan, Alex Katz, you name em’. I started to go to casting calls at
“World Modeling Agency” and that was when it hit me. I felt like every chick in that
place on Van Nuys Blvd. wanted to “RAPE” me! I was walking out and then I saw my
brother’s old roommate Don walking up the stairs, I froze. I had known him for years
because he was a popular nightclub manager of a few of the clubs we built all over L.A..
In fact Don has known me since I was 15 when I visited California the first time in the
summer of 85’.
I freaked out. I was terrified to let him see me and tell my brother. I hid my face all the
way down the stairs from Jim South’s office. I hated what I was doing. I realized then
that I have 4 sisters and if they found out, I would never hear from my family again. I
talked to a friend of mine that I was getting my weed from and he made a good point. He
reminded me that I had a good clientele for customers that are a bunch of coke heads and
drug addicts. True story. He assured me that if I did a few more Flicks and upped my
drug sales business, I could make a hell of a-lot more then 150 bucks a shoot! Gee, did
ya’ see the huge increase in my pay? Thought so. Ha Ha. We started to rent out the house
for porn shoots and I had everyone calling me for Coke.
By now I had to make a decision. Stay in the Porn Industry or quit. I did the obvious. I
thought about it over the next 2 weeks. I decided that the last time I saw my step father,
he was switching the remote control pretty damn fast when I would walk in the living
room. I got smart and looked at the buttons very closely. The “channel back” button was
worn out so I tried it to see what channel he was on last. Guess what? We had a pirate
box and the Spice channel was on! Holy Crap! I was getting calls from them. I had to quit
“Now”! My whole life in the porn industry was closing in on my personal life at home. I
thought if anyone see’s me on Spice, I’m dead as far as family is concerned.
I quit that minute. I went on with the contacts I had and kept polluting people’s lives with
the drugs I could provide. I was making a killing. I was cleaning up my act, so I thought!
I went from making 300-400 bucks a day shooting porno’s, to almost $1200.00 every
other day selling drugs and keeping my face off film. I was 25 back then. I thought that
was some pretty cool revenge. Then I thought about the revenge factor and how much a
slap in the face the business is to men. I was getting top pay just like everyone else. Only
thing is the revenge wasn’t working. I was making 150 bucks and some chick just walked
away with $3,000.00 in one shoot! That was a slap in the face. By the end of the week I
found myself with Morgan Lefay, cruising around so she could by a new car! “SLAP”
and the last one I would take!
I thought about the 10 nieces and nephews I had and how devastated they would be if
they saw there uncle in a Porno. What kind of crap is that? What the hell are they doing
watching porn’s anyway? I didn’t want that to happen and now it won’t if Shelley
Lubben and I can help it! If they do, then they will have to face Shelley and I
“AS A TEAM”!
We are full blooded “Christians” and for those of you that are unaware of what that is
allow me to explain. We were so afraid that we would be going to hell that we reached
out and someone found us. That someone was “Jesus Christ” our Lord and Savior. We
understand the sins that we have committed may never be accepted in society’s eyes, but
that isn’t for us to change, that is God’s will. Being a Christian means this: we believe
that Jesus Christ died for our sins on the cross and as long as we can say with our mouths
“I believe Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior” I will be forgiven for “ALL” of my sins no
matter how terrible they are!
We were lost souls walking the Earth looking for attention when we should’ve been
searching for the Lord. We wanted to be noticed because we thought we were good
looking. We just went about it the wrong way. Looks don’t make a person, your
personality does. I have always gotten people to laugh and that made me happy, but it just
wasn’t enough. The things we go through when we are children reflect on our adulthood
and the outcome of who we decide to be when we get older.
I had difficulties finding a girlfriend when I lived in Fox Lake Illinois because it’s a small
town and back in the 80’s was only home to 15,000 white people. All of the pretty one’s I
had a crush on in grade school were already taken and having sex. That kinda disgusted
me being 17, but got to be attractive when I got the opportunity to move to L.A..
Remember that video David Lee Roth put out in the 80’s, “California Girls”? Gee, wasn’t
that a Beach Boys tune? Kinda sucks to admit that the television/MTV is what corrupted
me to begin with, but was the end of my destiny overall! I hate television and the media
because they always distort what is real and will probably do the same to this article as
well!
As for the reflections of my Porno’s haunting me, they don’t, but they did at one time not
long ago. I had a relationship that I thought was genuine. I had a woman that I thought I
was in love with until I realized that I should’ve been honest about my past before we had
sex. (another, Un-Christian Like motive)
Our relationship continued until one day my computer crashed. Being that she was a
computer wiz she tried to fix it. When she lied and said the board was cracked and she
had to go through my hard drive to save my files, she found a box cover she thought I
was proud of. I was at the 13 year mark of getting over my past. She flipped and mistook
me for Warren. I admitted to her that who she thought was me, wasn’t. In fact I was the
guy with the long hair on the top left.
Admitting to my past I thought everything would work out. How wrong I was. She
continued to torment me on a daily basis and eventually down loaded 3 of my movies.
Gee, lets’ just contribute to the Porn Industry and give them more money and better
search results with those purchases! She then made me sit and watch the crap I was in
and critique them, piece by piece. That was the last straw and I knew were this
relationship was headed. I packed my stuff (Clothes) and split for 2 weeks. By the time I
got over this torment, I went home at 6am and found some crack head in my bed with my
woman. She said he was an “Ordained Minister”! Since when does any Minister jump in
bed out of wedlock? Which reminds me. Back to my “Christian Faith”:
I have completely given up on having sex until I am married. I am now attending Church
4 days a week and I have found the truth in God! I went on an Encounter with the men
from “The Shepherd of the Hills” church in Porter Ranch, California in November 2007.
That was the most incredible experience I have ever had! I since have changed every way
of thinking in my life and I truly understand now after 37 years, that God is finally in
control of my life. I can also add that I have finally found the woman of my dreams. I met
her online. “Yes online” at www.faithbase.com a dating website for Christians. We
figured out that we attend the same church, both hate Sushi, both are German, Irish, and
French. We also lived on the same exact street in 2001 less the 200 feet away from each
other! Both our grandmothers are full blood German and we both know Shelley Lubben!
Gee, the list goes on and on and on. All I know is that we are both ready and willing to
live a happy life together and keep ourselves pure for the Lord in our Christian Faith!
I have never met such a beautiful woman (inside or out) that actually accepts me for who
I am and not “WHAT I WAS”! I am glad to say that my family is completely aware of
what I am doing and they are totally supporting me with my decision.
I thank Shelley Lubben and Family for being so strong and being so patient with me. I
know that they have been waiting for this testimony for over 6 month’s and I am finally
ready to face the world with my story so that together, we can help to save the children of
the world from becoming exposed to the Porn Industry and help “KILL IT”. We are also
reaching out to the men and women that are currently trying to deal with these issues as
we have for many years. We do not want to see another suicide or death that will destroy
another family ever again! I am doing God’s Will and I thank you Jesus Christ, for saving
my soul on 11/03/2007!
Amen and God Bless
Ryan 3/05/2008