By Tait Berge, Special to ASSIST News Service
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO (ANS – Feb. 11. 2015)
-- This is the last article in a series about disabilities and the
church. The first laid out the basis for disability ministry and answers
the question of how does God see people who have disabilities. The
second was directed to pastors and church leaders to and answers the
question, “Why should we care about people who live with disabilities?”
This last article is written to people who live with disabilities to
encourage them to be involved in a church.
People who live with
disabilities cannot expect others to accept them if they don’t accept
themselves. One way to do that is to remember you were made in God’s
image, and another is to go find a couple life verses to help you.
Whether you have a disability or are a parent, sibling or friend of
someone with a disability, God loves you! He knew you before you were
born and designed your body (Psalm 139:13-16). You’re perfect just the
way you are. You didn’t do anything to cause your disability. That’s the
most important idea you can take
away from this article.
away from this article.
Then
why did God give you a disability? For one, I believe I can show the
glory of the Lord best through my disability. You can, too. God made you
for a very special purpose in his kingdom, and I encourage you to find
that purpose and live it out. The Bible says: 1) Man is created in the
image of God (Genesis 1:27); 2) The Lord makes a man blind or mute
(Exodus 4:11); 3) Man looks at the outside, while God looks at the heart
(1 Samuel 16:7); and 4). This happened so that the works of God might
be displayed in him (John 9:4).
And don’t forget verses such as
Zephaniah 3:17: “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who
saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer
rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
It may be just me, but I
sometimes focus on the verses helping me understand my disability and
forget all about God’s love and plans for me.
I encourage you to find perhaps
two life verses. First of all, find one that helps explain why you have
a disability. Mine is Exodus 4:11: “The Lord said to him, ‘who gave
human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them
sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?’”
Then, second, have a life verse
that speaks to your spirit. One of mine is Esther 4:14: “And who knows
but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” I
live in an important time in history. Never before has someone with a
disability been able to participate in society to the fullest. I’m alive
at this point in history to help people understand people with
disabilities have a place in God’s plan, too.
Scripture can play a vital role
in your life and help in difficult times. I get frustrated with my
disability sometimes and Exodus 4:11 gives perspective. Of course, who
doesn’t need being reminded of God’s love? Make a habit of reading
Scripture and soak in His love.
Also, from elementary school
on, church was a place where I could wear a suit and tie. I was taught
to dress up for church and besides, sweats and a tee shirt was my
everyday uniform and I wanted an upgrade. I’m more relaxed about dress
these days and often wear shorts and no shoes in summer—scandalous, but I
figure if the priest can go without shoes, so can I. Perhaps I feel
more comfortable with myself now or maybe I want to blend in with the
congregation.
I tell people with disabilities
to put their best foot forward. Wear clean and updated clothes. Act
like you belong—because you do. Most of all, smile. People always love a
bright, shiny face. People with disabilities go up against a lot of
things every day, including preconceived ideas, behavioral issues, and
communication problems. We do not need any more roadblocks. That’s why I
suggest having an appearance check before going to church. First
impressions mean much, and a good appearance may help you become more
easily accepted in church. There is another reason why you need to look
your best: people will more likely listen to you. It’s a bitter pill to
take—I have a hard time with it—but it's reality. When that barrier is
down, it’s easier for us to communicate our needs.
In
addition, never demand your rights, but yet know how to express
yourself. No one knows your disability better than you. You know what
you can and can’t do, your likes and dislikes, and your energy level. It
will take practice, but you need to be able to explain your disability
and what you need. I’ve learned how to tell people how to help. For
example, when helping me put on my coat, don’t pull my arms. Sometimes
it’s easier to put my arms in the sleeves first and then flip it over my
head. Or when it comes to meals, I may need help getting a plate and
cutting my food. People are more than willing to help if they know what I
need, and they won't know if I don’t speak up. I’m accepted in my
church in part because I know when to speak up and when to go with the
flow. I never use my disability as an excuse to get what I want. It’s a
two-way street. If wanting to be active at church, you must be willing
to meet people half way and let the Lord help plant and grow
relationships.
On another matter I need to be
blunt: You are not special because of your disability. You are special
because of Jesus Christ and just as bad as anyone. You need a savior. If
you haven’t received Jesus Christ as your savior, put this down and do
it. If you have questions, reach out to a Christian friend. You can
email me at taitBerge510@comcast.net. If you have asked Jesus in, get to know Him better.
The learning never stops. Find a
church, a disciple group, or some kind of study to help you go deeper.
I’m always studying and learning with friends. My disability doesn’t
stop me from learning about and experiencing God’s love. Of course, the
final step is finding somewhere to serve the Lord. Find your place in
Christ’s body. There are many ways to serve. You don’t have to read
Scripture or teach children like I do. Find something you can do. What
do you like? What are you good at? Ask family and friends what they
think and try it. Try one new thing this week.
A word to family members and
friends. Your loved one or friend with a disability is special to you,
but do not treat that person any different than others. They are not
glass that breaks. They are made by God, and God will always be there.
Remember Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares
the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future.”
Parents come up to me all the
time, and say, “I wish my son could be like you someday.” Well, why not?
If someone told my mother twenty-five years ago I would live
independently, have two college degrees, and authored three books, she
wouldn’t have believed. Her faith in the Lord and His provision were the
greatest gifts she gave me. She ended each day with this prayer: “Lord,
this is your kid. Help me raise him.” I encourage you to pray that for
your sons and daughters. I’m not saying the journey will be easy or even
your child can be like me. I’m saying when handing over everything to
the Lord and praying for His will be done, you are well on your way
toward realizing your dreams for your child.
Relationships are a two-way
street. I can encourage churches to open their doors to people with
disabilities, but that’s only one part. People with disabilities and
their families need to do theirs. A big reason my church works for me is
because I have learned my role. I learned to risk a visit to a new
church and come back week after week without expectations. I just showed
up. I started making friends. Eventually I felt comfortable enough to
approach people and become more involved. Second, my mother always
stressed I should go out clean as possible and wearing clean clothes.
My face had to be clean and I
had to change out of shirts with spots on them. Remember the scene in
Lion King where Simba was testy when his mother gave him a bath? The
lion cub scuffed and said, “Okay, enough already. Now can we go?” I know
exactly how he felt. My mother often went to the extreme fussing
around with my cloths and hair. But like Simba, I have learned how to be
accepted in a community. People are more willing to accept me when I’m
clean and appropriately dressed.
Perhaps most importantly, I
have grown in faith. Discovering what the Bible says about disabilities
has helped me realize God’s purpose. He knitted me in my mother’s womb
(Psalm 139:13), has a reason for my disability (Exodus 4:11), and I am a
child of God (1 John 3:1-2). Most of all, I understand He loves me.
When I’m able to hold these truths together—which is a daily struggle—I
can be part of my church. You and your family can, too. Go for it!
***This is an excerpt of Tait’s book, “In the Accessible Church.” To order a copy, please visit www.amazon.com.
Photo captions:
1) Tait and his mother in their Sunday best
2) Tait’s book cover
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