“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your
heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk
of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and
when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7
A parent’s most basic task is to help their children learn how to
live in God’s world. This isn’t a once in a while task, but
an opportunity that is available nearly every moment.
One of our elders recently shared how he an his wife help their
seven children develop spiritually. What follows are my reflections on
the principles he shared with us.
- Family Devotions
Few habits are more important in a home than daily Bible
reading. There is no magic formula to the reading, just open the Bible
and read it together. Read through chapter by chapter and discuss what
you learn about God, about people and how you should respond. Then ask
God to help you. How much you read is less important than the
consistency of your reading. A family that feasts on daily manna
together is a family that will grow in their love for the Giver of
the manna.
- Individual Devotions
Children that can read should be encouraged to read the Bible.
They should not be forced to do it, but they should be encouraged to do
it. One of the most important parts of parenting is teaching
your children to listen to the voice of their heavenly Father. Encourage
your children to read, write down questions and talk about what they
are reading with you. And make sure you are in the Word as well. Seeing
their parents make the Word a priority will only reinforce their need to
do the same.
- Corporate Prayer
Pray together. When you are short on money, gather together and
ask God to provide what you need. When you face bullies at school
or problems at work, gather together and pray. When God provides for
your family, gather together and celebrate. When there are sorrows or
suffering or sickness, gather together and cry out to God. Fill
the atmosphere of you home with prayer. There’s not one thing we face in
which God is not needed, so gather together often to pray.
- Individual Prayer
Encourage your child to pray. At first, they will not know how,
but neither did the disciples. Show them how Jesus taught His disciples
to pray (
Matthew 6:9-13).
Show them how the psalmists prayed. Praying as a family is important,
but teaching them to pray as an individual is also important. Show them
that the Father in heaven hears when they come to Him in secret (
Matthew 6:6). I do not think you ought command them to pray, but I cannot think of a better constant encouragement.
- Talking About What God Thinks About Everything
We live in God’s world. He made everything in it. That means
that every blade of grass, every sip of water, every note of music and
every movie made by an image bearer points to Him. Learn to help your
children see with enlightened eyes. This is one of my favorite parts of
parenting. We try to not allow an experience we have together go
unexamined. What would God think about the movie we just watched? What
message is in the song we just listened to? Why did God create an
underwater world so few ever see? Why would God give us pets that
die? Why does God make us sleep so much of our lives? Questions about
God’s creation and our experiences in it are an inexhaustible mine of
mind-shaping opportunity. Help your family to examine all things through
the lens of God’s Word.
- Talking about our sin and the sins of others
Everyone in your house is a sinner—and everyone knows it. Teach
your children what to do about it. They ought see their father
and mother humbly confessing sins to each other, and to them. Few family
trips are more important than the ones to the throne of grace. Has
someone used harsh words? Has someone lied? Confess it to God together.
Ask one another for forgiveness. Parents need to wisely consider what to
confess to their children, but it should happen. A family that learns
to confess sins together will know the power of the Gospel in a way that
is unattainable any other way.
- Consistent Church Life
The life of the family should be oriented around the life of
God’s people. Few things teach a child apathy toward God like skipping
church for sports or unnecessary weekend getaways. A child should see,
from their earliest age that gathering with other Christians to sing,
pray and hear God’s Word is the greatest of privileges one can have.
Certainly there are other things families can and ought do together, but
faithful service of God’s mission as part of a healthy local church is
one of the most essential.
- Individual Time With Each Child
Each child is unique. This means each child requires unique care
and attention. In families with numerous children, individual time with
each child is important. Some will need stern direction where others
will require gentler shepherding. Some will respond well to structure
while others may be stifled by it. Each child will have unique questions
and abiding sin struggles. God the Father relates to each of His
children uniquely, we must do the same for our children.
There is no perfect strategy to produce perfect children. But these
are a few principles that if followed in faith, can be used by God to
help create a spiritual-mindedness in our children that we hope will
bear fruit for His glory.
These eight principles came from a talk one of our elders, Mercury Payton, recently shared with our church.
This article originally appeared here.
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