Jesus Changed Her Heart

Jesus Changed Her Heart

From Gospel for Asia (www.gfa.org) -- For Immediate Release

WILLS POINT, TX (ANS -- Feb. 11. 2015) -- Haneet grew up with a notoriously bad temper and often cursed in her rage. When Haneet first met Nanditha, a GFA woman missionary, she mocked her beliefs.

“All gods are the same,” Haneet said. “There is nothing different between the gods that the Christians or anyone else are worshiping. The difference is only in the name. They all lead to the same destiny.”

Haneet faithfully followed the traditional religion of her ancestors. She was devoted to her gods and found no need to worship another.

Nanditha, along with the other women missionaries with her, explained the uniqueness of Christ, but Haneet’s ears were closed. Despite her lack of interest and her reputation for having a bad temper, Haneet was very friendly with Nanditha. When Nanditha told her about a special event she could attend to find out more about Jesus, Haneet surprisingly decided to come.

There, she initially thought the Word of God was nonsense. It bored her. But God was working in her heart, and as she continued to listen, a missionary shared a message on John 3:16. This message of God’s great love still puzzled Haneet.

When she had the opportunity, Haneet asked the missionary a question about Jesus. And then another question, and another.

With the help of the Lord, the missionary answered Haneet’s questions and helped her understand the Word of God more clearly. She started realizing what made Jesus so different. As she considered her own life and saw her own sin, she asked Jesus for His mercy and cleansing.

After that day, she wasn’t the same.

A New Heart

Haneet fell in love with the Bible and spent as much time as she could between its covers. She also spent time fellowshipping with other believers. Her parents and siblings didn’t like that she had changed and embraced Christ. They regularly scolded her and disrupted her quiet times with Jesus. They also started sending her out to work on Sundays so she couldn’t go to church.

Despite the persecution and ridicule Haneet faced from her family, she continued steadfastly in prayer and her devotion to God. Many of Haneet’s friends have seen her anger disappear and be replaced by a kind heart and a patient spirit. As they ask questions, wondering how this metamorphosis could be possible, they are learning about the God who transforms hearts.

God showed His love to Haneet through Nanditha and gave His wisdom to the missionary so he could answer Haneet’s questions. Our other brothers and sisters on the mission field need this same wisdom and love. Find out how you can pray for national missionaries as they share the Good News of Jesus with those who have never heard His name (http://www.gfa.org/pray/2015/january-national-missionaries/?cm_mmc=GFAReports-_--_--_-).

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Stand True Pro-lif Outreach - What I saw and heard during my two days at the murder trial of abortionist Kermit Gosnell

What I saw and heard during my two days at the murder trial of abortionist Kermit Gosnell:

I recently spent two days at the murder trial of Kermit Gosnell, the abortionist accused of the murder of seven babies born alive and one woman. Gosnell would take babies who were born alive after botched abortions and snip the backs of their necks to finish the job. You can find out all about who Gosnell is and what he did at http://www.whoisgosnell.com

I arrived at the courthouse on Monday morning to find out the trial would be postponed for a day because of the defense attorney being sick and in the hospital. Father Frank, Janet Morana, Alveda King and I were able to talk to the prosecutors who allowed us to view and examine the evidence that was taken from his “house of horrors” abortion mill.

As I walked around the filthy, rusty and utterly disgusting equipment I wanted to vomit. I could not believe this stuff was taken from a so-called “medical clinic.” The table that the abortions were performed on looked like it was straight out of a horror movie, as did the suction tubes and ancient ultra-sound machine. The recliner in which women sat to recover from the abortions was stained and tattered and not fit to sit on. Earlier that day the prosecutor almost sat in the chair and she was visibly upset that she came so close to doing so.

On Tuesday I met up early in the morning with Alveda King and went back to the courtroom for the opening of the defense’s arguments. The day opened with defense attorneys arguing for the acquittal of all the charges to the judge, without the jury present.

Gosnell’s attorney was visibly conflicted as he went back and forth between calling the victims either a fetus or a baby. At one point he yelled out, “These infants, fetuses or whatever you call them.” I wanted to scream but had to bite my tongue as I listened to this dribble.

It suddenly became very personal to me as the defense attorney began to address the abuse of a corpse charges that Gosnell was facing for the baby parts found in jars in his house of horrors. When the attorney started spewing about how these were not real body parts because they were not real humans yet, I began to tear up. He talked about how these babies were not really human and all I could think about was Benjamin Davis, my son who we miscarried two years ago. Benjamin was a real person and was given a real funeral; he was an actual human being just as these babies were.

The prosecutors at one point were discussing a time when after the botched abortion, Gosnell also botched his “snipping.” “It was laying there with a hole in its neck, it was moving and breathing, it was alive,” declared a clinic worker about one of the babies Gosnell murdered. Sitting there listening to all of these quotes and testimonies was one of the most difficult things I have ever done, but it was important for me to be there.

Gosnell (as you notice I refuse to call him a doctor) just sat there through all of this testimony without emotion or reaction. He just sat there taking notes and smirking as he looked around. He was guarded by an armed police officer at all times as he has been in custody for almost two years. It makes my skin crawl to think that this man could possibly be released and be back in practice if he is found not guilty.

I am also heartbroken for this man and the day he will face our Lord. I prayed for his soul and have been asking my friends to do so also. I know how despicable I was before I knew Christ and I also know Gosnell needs that hope of Christ just all of us do.

This Monday the attorneys will present their closing arguments and then his fate will be given to the jury to deliberate. Christian leaders will be outside the Courthouse on Monday leading a prayer vigil for the verdict and for Gosnell himself.

We need your help to get me back to the Gosnell trial on Monday and Tuesday. It is important for me to join other national leaders at the trial for the closing arguments and for the prayer vigil. We simply need help with the cost as it is not in our budget right now, can you donate $25, $50, $100 or whatever you can to help get me there?

Bryan Kemper

Will you help get Bryan Kemper to the Gosnell trial?

If you can donate please do so at https://donate.cornerstone.cc/?mid=STANDTRUE or on the donate button on Stand True's Web site.

Donations can also be mailed to Stand True – PO Box 890 – Troy, OH 45373 or call 540-538-2581 to donate by phone.

Bryan Kemper
Director of Youth Outreach for Priests for Life
Stand True
PO Box 890 * Troy, OH 45373
Tel 540.538.2581
bryankemper@standtrue.com
http://www.facebook.com/iambryankemper
http://www.facebook.com/standtrueforlife
http://www.standtrue.com

 

Remembering the Forgotten

Remembering the Forgotten

Gospel for Asia
For Immediate Release

A Women's Fellowship team celebrates International Day of Persons with Disabilities by giving to those in need.

SOUTH ASIA (ANS) -- Disgraced. Disregarded. And sometimes considered cursed by the gods-this is the life of South Asia's disabled people.

According to statistics from The World Bank, India alone has between 40 to 80 million people living with disabilities, and at least one in 12 households has a member with a disability.

When the International Day of Persons with Disabilities rolled around on December 3, 2011, a Gospel for Asia-supported Women's Fellowship team saw it as a perfect opportunity to share God's love with some of South Asia's most forgotten and marginalized people.

Gifts Show God's Love to the Disabled

With the guidance and support of their state leader, the women organized an event to recognize six disabled men and women in their community. Five received blankets, and one of the men received a pair of crutches to replace his pair that had worn out.

A GFA field correspondent said the men and women were extremely delighted and thankful for the gifts they received.

"We never thought someone would come and care for us," one of the recipients said.

Recipients Grateful to Women's Fellowship

With the social stigma cast aside, these men and women experienced a tangible expression of God's unconditional love through the sisters from GFA's Women Fellowship.

Women's Fellowship teams are often considered the backbone of the church and take different initiatives to strengthen the ministry in their area. Every GFA-supported church has a Women's Fellowship, where the women of the church can grow in the Lord and live out their faith by taking part in special outreach activities that bring the hope and love of Christ to those in desperate circumstances-just like they did for these men and women.

SHADOW OF THE CROSS - INDONESIA

SHADOW OF THE CROSS - INDONESIA
Pelayanan terhadap subkultur yang berkembang di perkotaan. Subkultur merupakan komunitas budaya atau suku yang terlahir di perkotaan atau suatu tempat, diperkotaan kita dapat mengidentifikasi mereka sebagai geng bermotor,bikers, anak jalanan, gelandangan, anak punk, gothic, emo, rockers, skaters, tatto & piercing, dstnya.

PENGANTAR
Pelayanan ini fokus pada kaum subkultur. Ini merupakan pelayanan “the cutting edge” bagi kaum yang biasanya disisihkan bukan saja oleh dunia bahkan “gereja” pada umumnya.
Pertama kali didirikan oleh Morria Nickles di Hasville - Amerika Serikat dan menetapkan Dave Broos sebagai Regional Director di Indonesia tahun 2006. Shadow of The Cross, merupakan bagian dari pelayanan Eagles Nest Ministries – Indonesia yang fokus melayani kaum subkultur.
PERNYATAAN MISI:
- To Live The Truth (Hidup dalam kebenaran)
- To educate with love (mengajar dalam kasih)
- To Minimize misconceptions (meminimalisir konsep yang salah)
- To provide peace of mind (menghadirkan damai sejahtera dalam pemikiran)
TENTANG KAMI:
- Pelayanan ini merupakan organisasi non profit yang terbeban untuk memberitakan Injil di tengah kaum subkultur (gothic, punk, dstnya). Kami berupaya membagikan berita Injil dalam “budaya” mereka, dengan mengadakan persekutuan dan Studi Alkitab.
- Pelayanan ini berjalan dengan iman dan donasi tubuh Kristus yang ada. Pelayanan pertama didirikan 9 Maret 2002 di Haysville, KS, Amerika Serikat. Pelayanan ini memiliki tiga cabang, di Inggris (2004), Indonesia (Maret, 2006) dan Lebanon (Agustus,2006)
- Setiap pelayanan yang ada bersifat mandiri secara finansial dan badan organisasi secara hukum. Kami satu dalam iman, penjangkauan dan visi.
PENJANGKAUAN:
1. Gathering (simple church)
2. Antioch Box Project (Proyek Kotak Antiokhia)
a. Jerusalem Box, menolong orang miskin & gelandangan dengan donasi berupa pakaian, makanan, selimut, dll.
b. Antioch Box, menolong para utusan misi bagi kaum subkultur berupa Alkitab, traktat, legalitas, dll. Kami berdoa dan mencari pelayan Tuhan, mereka yang memiliki hati bagi kaum terbuang dan tersisihkan ini.
c. Corinth Box, memberikan materi bagi orang percaya baru berupa Alkitab, buku renungan harian, dan berbagai perlengkapan untuk menolong pertumbuhan iman.
d. Regina Box, setiap tanggal 14 April membagikan mainan dan bacaan anak bagi anak-anak yang kurang beruntung di perkampungan kumuh dan jalanan.
e. Bookbags of learning, menolong anak-anak putus sekolah agar dapat beroleh pertolongan untuk dapat kembali bersekolah.
3. Safe House/rumah singgah, kami masih berdoa untuk sebuah rumah yang cukup besar untuk dapat menampung anak-anak subkultur yang hidup di jalanan. Mereka yang dapat tinggal adalah anak yang serius mau bersekolah kembali dan mengikuti pendidikan kami.
4. Street teams, melakukan penjangkauan melalui friendship evangelism, musik(band), drama, tarian, acara-acara khusus dsbnya bagi kaum subkultur (gothic, punk, skaters, anak jalanan, gelandangan,dll).
5. Shadow Discipleship & Bible School (bekerjasama dengan Eagles Nest Discipleship & Bible School) ditambah materi-materi khusus untuk pelayanan underground atau subkultur ini.
Bagi saudara seiman yang mau konseling, turut terlibat pelayanan, mendoakan, bersahabat dengan kami atau menyalurkan dana untuk perluasan Kerajaan Tuhan dapat menghubungi kami di 081330135643 atau email: davebroos@yahoo.co.uk atau melalui Facebook (Dave Broos). Sedangkan bagi mereka yang mau mendukung pelayanan ini melalui dana dapat menyalurkannya melalui Bank BCA no rek 0081824788 atas nama Dave Broos. Atau bilamana Anda tergerak menyalurkan pakaian bekas (layak pakai) baik bagi balita maupun dewasa, mainan dan bacaan bagi anak-anak, Alkitab dan buku bacaan rohani bekas yang masih baik atau makanan untuk disalurkan kepada mereka yang membutuhkan dapat menghubungi kami atau dikirimkan ke alamat Flat Sarijadi Blok G-1 no. 13, Bandung 40151 atas nama Dave Broos.

God bless you all,
Salam dan doa,
Ps. Dave Broos

REAL CITIES IN UNEASY TRUCE With TENT CITIES

REAL CITIES IN UNEASY TRUCE With TENT CITIES
-Naked Capitalism +WSJ. -Aug 11.

As the economy limps along, with jobs still falling (despite keen
efforts to call a turn, and with the figures a bit more dodgy if you
look under the hood), more and more overindebted and under-
employed citizens are out on the street.

Reports of tent encampments or parking lots with cars that serve
as shelter have been an occasional and sad sighting for more than
a year. What is new is that some cities, with their shelters at their
limits, have decided it is better to provide limited services to these
colonies than try to send the occupants away.

From the Wall Street Journal:

Last summer, police responding to complaints about campfires
under a highway overpass found dozens of homeless people living
on public land along the Cumberland River.

Eviction notices went up -- and then were suspended by Nashville
Mayor Karl Dean, a Democrat, who said housing for the homeless
should be found first.

A year later, little has been found -- and Nashville, with help from
local nonprofits, is now servicing a tent city, arranging for portable
toilets, trash pickup, a mobile medical van and visits from social
workers. Volunteers bring in firewood for the camp's 60 or so dwellers.

Nashville is one of several U.S. cities that these days are accom-
modating the homeless and their encampments, instead of
dispersing them...

In Florida, Hillsborough County plans to consider a proposal
Tuesday by Catholic Charities to run an emergency tent city in
Tampa for more than 200 people. Dave Rogoff, the county health
and services director, said he preferred to see a "hard roof over
people's heads." But that takes real money, he said: "We're trying
to cut $110 million out of next year's budget."

Ontario, a city of 175,000 residents about 40 miles east of Los
Angeles, provides guards and basic city services for a tent city on
public land.

A church in Lacey, Wash., near the state capital of Olympia,
recently started a homeless camp in its parking lot after the city
changed local ordinances to permit it. The City Council in Ventura,
Calif., last month revised its laws to permit sleeping in cars over-
night in some areas. City Manager Rick Cole said most of the car
campers are temporarily unemployed, "and in this economy,
temporary can go on a long time."...

In Nashville, Mr. Harris, director of the city's homeless commission,
said tent cities have existed for years, but he has seen the numbers
surge. He now knows of 30 encampments. While some people are
chronically homeless, he said, foreclosures have forced others into
the streets, as has Tennessee's 10.8% unemployment rate, the
highest in 25 years...

The city and local nonprofits have found permanent housing for
about 25 people from the tent city.

Many haven't been so lucky. David Olson, 47 years old, said last
week he and his wife wound up under the Nashville overpass after
he lost a job making cement pipes in Iowa four months ago. The
couple came to Nashville for a remodeling job that turned out to
be a scam. "I've got five years' experience in carpentry and 10
years' roofing and I can't find a job," he said.

Mr. Olson, his arms and shirt caked with dirt, said life is hard in
the swampy woods. The couple woke up to mud after a night of
rain. His wife said she is frightened by the dogs that roam around
the encampment.

As mosquitoes buzzed, they tried to set up camp on higher ground.
They struggled to secure a tarpaulin over their tent to keep out the
rain. Mr. Olson's wife, holding onto a pole to prop up the tarp,
cried. "I'm not used to living like this."

-From NAKED CAPITALISM - source-
http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2009/08/real-cities-in-uneasy-truce-with-
tent.html

Original WSJ Article-
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124994409537920819.html

Cheryl's Story

Cheryl's Story
"Here I am 14 months clean, and on staff at Joy Junction. I enjoy waking up every day without a drug hangover. I am ... spending time praying ... knowing that I cannot control my life very well and I must leave it in God's Hands."

By Jeremy Reynalds
Correspondent for ASSIST News Service

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (ANS) -- To say Cheryl had a difficult childhood would be putting it mildly.

Cheryl

Born the youngest of five children to a low income family, Cheryl grew up in poverty.

In a recent interview Cheryl said, "We ended up living in places like a barn-type building that leaked when it rained, and all of the kids had to huddle together when it was cold. (However), my mom did whatever she could to feed us and clothe us, and I love her for that."

But living in a leaky building was nothing like the trauma Cheryl experienced from her two older brothers. She said, "They did very evil things to all of us. The older one would hold us under water, bite us, and make us do sexual things when I was only about five or six years old. I think that part seriously messed me up as far as relationships go. He'd even have neighbor boys come over and try to have sex with me."

Cheryl said, "Our whole family wasn't quite there, I guess you would say." She said one of her step-fathers had more serious issues than anyone could imagine, one of her brothers was always stealing and breaking into things, and a sister got pregnant at 15.

Cheryl admitted she also battled many issues. "I started doing drugs and having sex quite often at 12," she said. "I can't even count how many times I had sex by the time I was 14."

And by then, Cheryl continued, she had also tried marijuana, cocaine, speed, mushrooms, alcohol, cigarettes and hashish.

She continued, "I started hanging around much older people, the ones getting high and drinking. I did very stupid things, like hitch hiking and getting raped. I'd get so drunk I wouldn't know what I had done or where I was. I would take off for days, worrying my mother to death. I ended up ditching so much school that my high school didn't even know I was registered for the second semester of ninth grade."

Cheryl and her friends would meet at the back of the high school in the morning, have someone buy them a case of beer, then go down to a vacant lot by a church and get drunk. As an alternative they would hang out at a Carl's Jr. until the arcade opened, stay until school was over, and then go home.

"Nice existence, huh?" Cheryl asked cynically.

Cheryl's life continued to spiral downwards. She said, "Going into 11th grade I had enough credits for one semester of high school. I also had a miscarriage on my seventeenth birthday."

Cheryl said, "I think because of my low self-esteem I tried to juggle three, and sometimes four, guys at once. I thought as they wanted to sleep with me, that they really liked me. That feeling has lasted through out almost my entire life."

Cheryl said she met her "first and only husband" while partying with the marines from Camp Pendleton in Oceanside, California in 1982. She later found out he was on trial for killing someone.

She said, "We went out mostly drinking, smoking marijuana, doing cocaine occasionally, LSD a few times. And right before he was actually jailed for voluntary manslaughter, I found out I was pregnant."

However, Cheryl did have a little bit of good news. She finally graduated - after having to attend almost another year of school.

She said, "I went around telling people, 'I'm in 13th grade.' Even though I was almost seven months pregnant, I attended my graduation."

Cheryl's daughter was born in Sept. 1984, and she traveled to Jamestown, California, where the baby's father was incarcerated, to be married. The relationship didn't last very long. Soon after he was released, Cheryl ended up divorcing her husband.

During this time, Cheryl said, she started taking methamphetamines. That, Cheryl said she believes, led to her ultimate downfall.

"I still drank a lot," she said, "but I eventually gave that up. However, I never stopped doing meth, a total of 22 years. I gave birth to six children from five different men, again, I think, from the low self-esteem. If they wanted to sleep with me, I believed I was loved. I never used protection."

She added, "My drug use pretty much caused me to have six children, and it also caused me to lose three of them; two daughters to the state, and my oldest to drug use herself. She and I both have done terrible things for our habit, and have been in and out of jail because of it."

Cheryl recalled being a patient in a six month rehab program, and getting high two weeks after she completed her time there.

She said, "Towards the end I started smoking crack, and that lasted for over a year. I actually prostituted for crack money and lived at crack houses."

However, change was in Cheryl's future. She said, "I was tired, hungry, very sad and lonely ... and I actually didn't want to do drugs anymore."

Cheryl said she remembers vividly the night that precipitated her coming to Joy Junction. In Nov. 2007, she had been staying at a woman's apartment. There was also another woman there, Cheryl said, and they were drinking, doing heroin, smoking crack and pot. On top of everything else, she said, they were (mis) using prescription medication.

Cheryl recalled, "I had seen a man there overdose off a very small amount of heroin before. They had to carry him to the bath tub, turn on the cold water and put ice on him. He stayed dead, it seemed, for about five minutes. What a way to live."

However, Cheryl recalled that her time there was mercifully short. She was given her walking papers when the other woman staying there told her she needed to leave because she wouldn't "hustle" enough.

Cheryl left the few meager belongings she had, walked to a local convenience store and called Joy Junction for a van ride to safety.

She said, " I set my crack pipe down by a tree, and while I was waiting for the van I was propositioned and invited to go to a party. I know I was done, though, and I was dropped off at Joy Junction at about 9:30 p.m hungry and tired. I was given a place to stay and something to eat, and I felt safe. It took another week for me to join the (life recovery) program, but it has been wonderful ever since."

Cheryl said she came to Joy Junction with only the clothes she was wearing on her back.

Cheryl joined Joy Junction's life recovery program on Nov. 28 2007. She recalled that her first assignment, in addition to the regular class schedule, was working in the laundry where she had to wash a seemingly never ending number of blankets.

It wasn't something that Cheryl really enjoyed, but she was committed to her recovery and so she did a good job. Subsequently, Cheryl worked in a variety of assignments before graduating the program in Aug. 2008.

Cheryl was later hired for a staff position by Joy Junction where she works in the kitchen.

She said, "I enjoy cooking and learning how to work in a mission kitchen."

Looking back on her time so far at Joy Junction Cheryl said, "I have made some wonderful friends. Some of them have come and gone. One or two have passed away, and a couple were not ready to have God take over their lives. Here I am 14 months clean, and on staff at Joy Junction. I enjoy waking up every day without a drug hangover. I am in a good mood, spending time praying and especially knowing that I cannot control my life very well and I must leave it in God's hands."

Reflecting on her life in general she said, "I love the opportunity I have been given at Joy Junction and can't wait for what God has for me next. The next part of my life is in the Lord's Hands. I wait in anticipation of what He has for me."

Pat's Perspective

Joy Junction Resident Services Manager Pat Feeney said he is delighted at the change the Lord has made in Cheryl's life. He said she is always willing to help wherever needed.

He added that with her new kitchen responsibilities, "she is turning into a pretty good cook."

My Take

The guiding philosophy of Joy Junction is to provide an environment conducive to allowing the Lord Jesus Christ to make changes in people's lives. That is what has been occurring with Cheryl. Our prayer is that Cheryl will continue to yield herself to Jesus, and that she will be transformed more and more into His image and likeness on a daily basis.

BEGINNING OF A MALE PORN STAR'S CAREER

Beginning of a Male Porn Star’s Career
3/05/2008
My name is Ryan and I am an "Ex-Porn star"!
I was known as Trent Roe/Rowland. I was in the business in 1994-95. I did nothing but
straight sex. I thought that I had fulfilled a lifelong dream by moving to L.A. to be a
carpenter just like my brother and it just wasn’t enough! I told the friends back home in
Fox Lake Illinois that I was going to California to, “Get Paid to Get Laid”! When in
actuality, I was in it to get revenge on women. I had been in a few bad relationships and
was faithful every time. I was hurt and only by a few women. I craved “REVENGE”. It
took me 7 years to find the industry not even knowing, I lived in “The Valley of Porn” in
the San Fernando Valley.
On New Years Eve 1994, I was driving down White Oak Avenue a block from my house
and I saw a blonde in a BMW. I smiled and she waved back. That was Teri Ray/Rey. She
pulled over right behind me and I got her number. I called her a few days later and went
to her house around the corner from mine. In minutes we were on her bed having sex and
then she sprung it on me. Her line of work was a Porn star and the first thought I had was,
that I had just been infected with H.I.V.! She saw the look on my face and could tell I
was terrified. She assured me that everything was o.k. and that everyone is regularly
tested (once, 1-ce, Once) a month. For some reason my heart started to beat again. She
informed me that my talents could be used to make money. Thus, the “Beginning of a
Porn Star’s Career”!
She introduced me to a roommate of hers named Warren Scott. He wanted to get stoned,
so I ran home and got him a bag of weed. I had been selling pot for years. He continued
to try and convince me that we looked like brothers and that we could be the “Next
Sensation” in the porn industry. After about 2 ounces later and 2 month’s had gone by, I
fell. I needed the money and Warren was a pretty cool cat, and a great “Drug Customer”!
He had all the contacts and convinced me that we could get rich. He said “if you can do
this, you can do anything”!
I came up with the name Trent Rivers and for some reason that got screwed up on every
shoot!?? Go figure! The first was the worst and I can’t even tell you why, but I pulled
through and got my first check. Gee, $100.00 for 45 minutes. That was what I was
making as a carpenter in 8 hours. I, like most, kept my day job and did shoots when
Warren would call me and I could make the time. I was cool with it and within a month I
had a reputation. We were kickin’ the crap out of the “Rick and Dave Show”! That’s
what our goal was. Rick and Dave were pigs and we wanted to be bigger and
better/professional.
However, my fear got the better of me. By now I was getting calls from every producer in
the business, Jon Morgan, Alex Katz, you name em’. I started to go to casting calls at
“World Modeling Agency” and that was when it hit me. I felt like every chick in that
place on Van Nuys Blvd. wanted to “RAPE” me! I was walking out and then I saw my
brother’s old roommate Don walking up the stairs, I froze. I had known him for years
because he was a popular nightclub manager of a few of the clubs we built all over L.A..
In fact Don has known me since I was 15 when I visited California the first time in the
summer of 85’.
I freaked out. I was terrified to let him see me and tell my brother. I hid my face all the
way down the stairs from Jim South’s office. I hated what I was doing. I realized then
that I have 4 sisters and if they found out, I would never hear from my family again. I
talked to a friend of mine that I was getting my weed from and he made a good point. He
reminded me that I had a good clientele for customers that are a bunch of coke heads and
drug addicts. True story. He assured me that if I did a few more Flicks and upped my
drug sales business, I could make a hell of a-lot more then 150 bucks a shoot! Gee, did
ya’ see the huge increase in my pay? Thought so. Ha Ha. We started to rent out the house
for porn shoots and I had everyone calling me for Coke.
By now I had to make a decision. Stay in the Porn Industry or quit. I did the obvious. I
thought about it over the next 2 weeks. I decided that the last time I saw my step father,
he was switching the remote control pretty damn fast when I would walk in the living
room. I got smart and looked at the buttons very closely. The “channel back” button was
worn out so I tried it to see what channel he was on last. Guess what? We had a pirate
box and the Spice channel was on! Holy Crap! I was getting calls from them. I had to quit
“Now”! My whole life in the porn industry was closing in on my personal life at home. I
thought if anyone see’s me on Spice, I’m dead as far as family is concerned.
I quit that minute. I went on with the contacts I had and kept polluting people’s lives with
the drugs I could provide. I was making a killing. I was cleaning up my act, so I thought!
I went from making 300-400 bucks a day shooting porno’s, to almost $1200.00 every
other day selling drugs and keeping my face off film. I was 25 back then. I thought that
was some pretty cool revenge. Then I thought about the revenge factor and how much a
slap in the face the business is to men. I was getting top pay just like everyone else. Only
thing is the revenge wasn’t working. I was making 150 bucks and some chick just walked
away with $3,000.00 in one shoot! That was a slap in the face. By the end of the week I
found myself with Morgan Lefay, cruising around so she could by a new car! “SLAP”
and the last one I would take!
I thought about the 10 nieces and nephews I had and how devastated they would be if
they saw there uncle in a Porno. What kind of crap is that? What the hell are they doing
watching porn’s anyway? I didn’t want that to happen and now it won’t if Shelley
Lubben and I can help it! If they do, then they will have to face Shelley and I
“AS A TEAM”!
We are full blooded “Christians” and for those of you that are unaware of what that is
allow me to explain. We were so afraid that we would be going to hell that we reached
out and someone found us. That someone was “Jesus Christ” our Lord and Savior. We
understand the sins that we have committed may never be accepted in society’s eyes, but
that isn’t for us to change, that is God’s will. Being a Christian means this: we believe
that Jesus Christ died for our sins on the cross and as long as we can say with our mouths
“I believe Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior” I will be forgiven for “ALL” of my sins no
matter how terrible they are!
We were lost souls walking the Earth looking for attention when we should’ve been
searching for the Lord. We wanted to be noticed because we thought we were good
looking. We just went about it the wrong way. Looks don’t make a person, your
personality does. I have always gotten people to laugh and that made me happy, but it just
wasn’t enough. The things we go through when we are children reflect on our adulthood
and the outcome of who we decide to be when we get older.
I had difficulties finding a girlfriend when I lived in Fox Lake Illinois because it’s a small
town and back in the 80’s was only home to 15,000 white people. All of the pretty one’s I
had a crush on in grade school were already taken and having sex. That kinda disgusted
me being 17, but got to be attractive when I got the opportunity to move to L.A..
Remember that video David Lee Roth put out in the 80’s, “California Girls”? Gee, wasn’t
that a Beach Boys tune? Kinda sucks to admit that the television/MTV is what corrupted
me to begin with, but was the end of my destiny overall! I hate television and the media
because they always distort what is real and will probably do the same to this article as
well!
As for the reflections of my Porno’s haunting me, they don’t, but they did at one time not
long ago. I had a relationship that I thought was genuine. I had a woman that I thought I
was in love with until I realized that I should’ve been honest about my past before we had
sex. (another, Un-Christian Like motive)
Our relationship continued until one day my computer crashed. Being that she was a
computer wiz she tried to fix it. When she lied and said the board was cracked and she
had to go through my hard drive to save my files, she found a box cover she thought I
was proud of. I was at the 13 year mark of getting over my past. She flipped and mistook
me for Warren. I admitted to her that who she thought was me, wasn’t. In fact I was the
guy with the long hair on the top left.
Admitting to my past I thought everything would work out. How wrong I was. She
continued to torment me on a daily basis and eventually down loaded 3 of my movies.
Gee, lets’ just contribute to the Porn Industry and give them more money and better
search results with those purchases! She then made me sit and watch the crap I was in
and critique them, piece by piece. That was the last straw and I knew were this
relationship was headed. I packed my stuff (Clothes) and split for 2 weeks. By the time I
got over this torment, I went home at 6am and found some crack head in my bed with my
woman. She said he was an “Ordained Minister”! Since when does any Minister jump in
bed out of wedlock? Which reminds me. Back to my “Christian Faith”:
I have completely given up on having sex until I am married. I am now attending Church
4 days a week and I have found the truth in God! I went on an Encounter with the men
from “The Shepherd of the Hills” church in Porter Ranch, California in November 2007.
That was the most incredible experience I have ever had! I since have changed every way
of thinking in my life and I truly understand now after 37 years, that God is finally in
control of my life. I can also add that I have finally found the woman of my dreams. I met
her online. “Yes online” at www.faithbase.com a dating website for Christians. We
figured out that we attend the same church, both hate Sushi, both are German, Irish, and
French. We also lived on the same exact street in 2001 less the 200 feet away from each
other! Both our grandmothers are full blood German and we both know Shelley Lubben!
Gee, the list goes on and on and on. All I know is that we are both ready and willing to
live a happy life together and keep ourselves pure for the Lord in our Christian Faith!
I have never met such a beautiful woman (inside or out) that actually accepts me for who
I am and not “WHAT I WAS”! I am glad to say that my family is completely aware of
what I am doing and they are totally supporting me with my decision.
I thank Shelley Lubben and Family for being so strong and being so patient with me. I
know that they have been waiting for this testimony for over 6 month’s and I am finally
ready to face the world with my story so that together, we can help to save the children of
the world from becoming exposed to the Porn Industry and help “KILL IT”. We are also
reaching out to the men and women that are currently trying to deal with these issues as
we have for many years. We do not want to see another suicide or death that will destroy
another family ever again! I am doing God’s Will and I thank you Jesus Christ, for saving
my soul on 11/03/2007!
Amen and God Bless
Ryan 3/05/2008

Former Porn Actress and Prostitute

Shelley Lubben
Former Porn Actress and Prostitute
I was born in 1968 and grew up in southern California. I am the eldest of three children and was born a strong-willed child with a "spirited" personality. The first 8 years of life my family attended a good church where I learned about God and Jesus. As a little girl, I knew and loved Jesus very much.
When I turned 9 years old things changed in our family. We moved to Glendora and left the church and friends we knew and loved. My parents stopped attending church and our family drifted away from God and each other. I grew up not having much of a relationship with either of my parents, although they were not bad people. Much of our our family time was spent sitting in front of the television. Our family loved to watch television. I still remember most of the episodes from the 70's and 80's shows. I watched a lot of television and from it began to develop wrong and harmful thinking. My Mother always said the tv was the best babysitter.
Growing up, I was different than other kids. I was highly creative and writing poetry and short stories at a young age. I was very frustrated because I had no place to channel my creative energy. My parents didn't involve me in extracurricular activities and most of the time I was very bored. At 6 years old, I wrote, directed, produced and "starred" in plays I put on at my school. My first grade teacher saw the creativity in me. She told my mother that she was amazed by me and she wanted to see where I was when I was in my 30's. She believed I would become a Hollywood actress or movie producer.
I was also peculiar in the fact that I began masturbating and had sexual tendencies at a very young age. I was sexually abused by a girl and her teenage brother when I was 9 years old and from then on had several sexual encounters with both girls and boys before age 18. Sex became confusing to me. Sex meant "love" to me as it felt good to be wanted by someone and receive attention but at the same time I felt dirty. I didn't recognize until later that I had been sexually violated as a child.
As a teenager, I looked for love in boys and alcohol and started having sex at age 16. My teenage years were filled with constant yelling and arguing between my parents and I. I had a mother who was often mad at me and a father who seemed busy to have a relationship with me. I don't remember anyone saying "I love you" during those years. My parents weren't bad people but I felt they didn’t take much interest in me and I became a rebellious resentful teenager who acted out to get attention. But instead of get their attention, my parents preferred to maintain peace in the home. So I was allowed to do things like dress up as a playboy bunny at age 15. I was allowed to date boys they didn't know. At 15 I was allowed to go to a prom with an 18 yr old boy who got me drunk for the first time. This began a lifestyle of partying for me and I started hanging out at nightclubs using drugs at 16. My parents knew I had alcohol problems but they didn't know what to do with me. We attempted family counseling but it was short lived. So I went searching for a new family and found "love" in the wrong crowd, drinking alcohol regularly and getting high on marijuana. My parents went through a lot of anguish because of my actions, and finally–being at their wits end– told me to leave home at age 18.
I ended up in the San Fernando Valley with no food and no money. A “nice” man saw I was upset and told me how sorry he was. He put his arm around me and consoled me and then offered to help me. But then he told me he knew a man who wanted to have sex with me and he'd give me money. I was still in shock and so full of rage because my parents kicked me out that I didn’t care anymore so I accepted his offer. I sold myself for $35 and a life of prostitution began for me.
Before long I met a madam who introduced me to the "glamorous" side of prostitution. She taught me every trick of the trade and how to manipulate men. At first it seemed exciting with men giving me money, jewelry and gifts but soon it became a life of slavery. I found myself having bizarre sex with strangers and began to hate it. Clients would do things like break condoms on purpose or follow me around and stalk me. One man tried to kill me and hit me with his truck. Another man carried a gun whenever he was with me and threatened to kill me if I didn't perform certain sex acts. Men made demands on me and I was constantly having to lie in order to get out of very frightening situations. I became a professional liar and could literally lie my way out of anything. I even lied my way out of several DUI's and several near death experiences. This is the standard for the sex industry and is the main survival tool for any stripper, prostitute or porn actress.
The sex industry lifestyle was getting worse and worse for me and I felt like I had no where to turn. Jesus kept tugging at my heart but I ignored Him. I figured, God wasn't taking care of me so I had to do what ever I could to survive.
This vicious cycle of working as a prostitute and exotic dancer in Southern California lasted for eight years. While working as a prostitute, I became pregnant three times from clients and it devastated me. A million questions formed in my mind each time. How could I let this happen? How would I take care of the baby? Should I have an abortion? Where could I turn to? I didn’t even know who the fathers were for two of the pregnancies. Then I remembered Jesus and I begged Him, “Please help me”. God comforted me and I knew I could never kill a life so I kept my baby. Two of the pregnancies ended in miscarriage but one of them did not and I had my first daughter, Tiffany, at age 20. She is mixed with Asian and is very beautiful. I tried to go back to doing only exotic dancing, but prostitution crept up on me and was hard to resist, especially as a single mother.
After a few years as a single mother and working as a prostitute and dancer, I began to drink very heavily and developed a terrible addiction to alcohol and drugs. Tiffany grew up a sad little girl neglected and her innocence was often violated. As she grew older she realized strange men were "visiting" me and was angry with me. I use to make her hide in her bedroom while I "entertained" clients. She also saw me in "peculiar" relationships with women. She didn't totally understand it all but she definitely was subjected to living with a lewd wild woman. I was such a bad mother, that I use to give Tiffany a beeper and make her go to the park while I pulled tricks. She was only four years old.
I began to see myself as a complete failure. I lost all self worth and hated myself for being a horrible mother. I was so tired from always trying to survive. There was never any rest from the lifestyle. Men followed me home, slashed my tires, called me at all hours, came over drunk in the middle of the night, and even attempted to kill me. To function, I always had a big bottle of Jack Daniels on hand. Sometimes I'd go sit in a corner with my bottle and cry out totally drunk to Jesus, "Please help me!", but it seemed He wasn't there. Yet I always felt a strange "protection" around me.
As my painful journey progressed, I became involved in the adult film industry. I learned I could make quick easy money and it seemed safer and more legal than prostitution. Many of the prostitutes I knew were getting raped and sent to jail and I didn't want that to happen to me. Also by this time I was a hardcore alcoholic and drug user and pretty incapable of making rational decisions.
When I did my first adult film something very "dark" came over me. I could almost hear the devil say, "See Shelley, I will make you famous and THEN everyone will love you." A powerful strange force enabled me to perform at intense levels only to come off the high and find myself shattered from the shame and degradation. I loved the attention but hated myself at the same time. I loved to hear how great I was but hated the brutal sex. I began to do very hardcore movies and only more drugs and alcohol could get me through them. It was like I had something to prove to the world and to everyone who had ever hurt me and when the porn industry opened their big arms to me and invited me into their "family", I finally found acceptance. But the price I paid for family "membership" was the price of my own life. I sold what was left of my heart, mind and femininity to the porn industry and the woman and person in me died completely on the porn set.
I also risked becoming infected with the AIDS virus like other porn stars did. I played a crazy and deadly game of Russian roulette with my life. The industry did not and still does NOT enforce condom usage so STD's and HIV were and are still a high risk among porn actors and actresses. In May 2004, The Adult Industry Medical Foundation (AIM), which offers monthly voluntary testing of porn performers for HIV, announced that five pornography “actors” had tested positive for the AIDS virus. I was luckier than those actors. God had spared me from contracting HIV. I did however catch herpes, a non-curable sexually transmitted disease. I wanted to end my life. At the time I caught herpes, I had no help and no one to help me deal with the disease. But since AIM came on the scene, the organization claims to have lowered some of the spread of HIV in the adult industry and increased awareness among performers. But the truth remains, porn actors continue to risk their lives and spread disease. In an interview on Court TV with AIM founder, Sharon Mitchell, also former porn actress, admitted that among porn actors today there are "7% HIV, and 12-28% STDs. Herpes is always about 66%. People are medicated with acyclovir for herpes, which is very effective in preventing the herpes outbreaks. Chlamydia and gonorrhea, however, along with hepatitis, seem to stick to everything from dildos to flat surfaces to hands, so, pardon my expression, but we are usually up to our asses in chlamydia." Those are her words and the interview can be found at http://www.courttv.com/talk/chat_transcripts/2001/0723mitchell.html
Nothing is more devastating than to receive a positive test for a non-curable sexually transmitted disease. I wanted to end my life.
I swallowed a number of prescription pills and sliced my wrists but it seemed no matter what I did, I couldn't die. The pain was overwhelming and I had terrible mood swings. One minute I walked around like a zombie and then the next minute I'd throw fits of rage, yelling and breaking things. I was mad at God, hated myself and hated my parents. Only alcohol and drugs could soothe my pain. I cried out to Jesus to help me and tried to give up the lifestyle but within a week I'd be back in the vicious cycle. I lost all hope and hated my life. I was completely hopeless and life was utterly meaningless. After becoming infected with Herpes, I quietly left the porn industry but went back to prostitution to survive.
In 1994 I met a man named Garrett. He was 22 years old and innocent compared to me. I told him I charged money to date. He pretended to need my "services" for a bachelor party so I gave him my card. He called me often to go out but I kept saying no. I wasn't able to have a normal relationship because my heart was completely black and cold toward all men. Later on though, for some GOD reason, I changed my mind and went out with him. We became friends instantly. As we spent time together, my broken black heart started to feel again. I remember feeling actual physical pain in my heart when Garrett tried to get close to me.
I tried to keep the relationship distant but it was hard because Garrett made me feel like a little girl again. He'd come over and we'd get high on meth and play checkers and cards for hours. We were like two little kids having fun. I hadn't had "fun" since I was a little girl. Garrett and I would talk about everything and one day we both brought up Jesus. Both of us grew up as kids loving and knowing Jesus Christ. I learned that Garrett was raised in a Christian home and grew up attending Christian school. For two people who met at a bar, this was an amazing "coincidence". I opened up about the trauma I had been through and he was there for me. He knew I did porn and was a prostitute but he felt so bad for me. He said He wanted to rescue me. I never met any man like Garrett. He saw something in me no one else did. He was a friend to a prostitute, just like Jesus. We knew God was working in our lives so we turned back to Jesus and got married on February 14, 1995.
Our new life together began as a total disaster. Garrett lost his job after we were married because he was high on drugs at work. We had to go on welfare and receive financial help. Everything got worse and the temptation for me to go back to the old lifestyle was overwhelming. But God had a better idea. Garrett joined the Army.
After basic training, Garrett returned a new man, free from drug addiction and on his way to Fort Lewis military base in Washington state. I became pregnant and gave birth to our daughter, Teresa, in 1997. I was able to quit drinking during the pregnancy but soon went back to alcohol.
Every time I held my new baby, I was reminded how utterly rejected I felt by my parents and all the men and women who abused me. God allowed me to feel the deep pain so He could heal me but I couldn't handle that pain. I grabbed alcohol instead. But the pain was getting worse so I went for counseling at the Army mental health clinic and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Impulse Control Disorder, Alcohol Dependence, Depressive Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was prescribed zoloft, sleeping pills, lithium and counseling. I was given anger management videos to watch which only made me more angry! I went through the Army’s substance abuse program but still drank. I was also diagnosed with early cervical cancer and told I needed to have surgery. The consequences of the sex industry were catching up with me. I wanted to give up. Nothing was working!! But God had a better plan.
God led Garrett and I to attend an awesome church called Champions Centre in Tacoma, Washington where we were taught how to live a champion life. The church is known for building Champions for life through the wisdom of God's Word. I was taught how to live a life where I could overcome ANYTHING because with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. With God, I had true forgiveness from all my sins and a chance to grow into a whole new person without being perfect first. That was a relief! I learned that God loved me unconditionally, regardless of my past, and even had a plan for my future. God had a plan for my life? It was like someone turned the light on for me.
In November, 1999, I gave birth to our daughter, Abigail, and though I drank alcohol during part of the pregnancy, God spared her life. After she was born, God FINALLY answered my prayers and took my alcohol addiction away. I began sobriety on April 9, 2000, and it was a very special time in my life. I started to hunger to know God more and to learn everything about being a "normal" woman. I started reading books on how to be a great mom and wife and how to cook and take care of my home. I watched other women to learn how they did laundry, how they dressed, how they talked to their husbands and their kids. I was a perpetual EAVESDROPPER for many years. I would be standing in the meat section of the grocery store and listen to the lady next to me describe how to cook a pot roast and then I'd run home and try it! I hung out in the grocery store just to learn!! Literally, I probably have over 100 mentors who don't even know how much they mentored me. I had to start ALL OVER from scratch and rebuild my life and learn how to be a normal person living in a normal society.
I also practiced God's principles in everything I did and began to experience real joy for the first time in over 10 years!! God also helped me learn web design so I could have a sense of accomplishment and use my creativity. I owned and operated my own web design business for 4 years. I also began attending college and am almost completed with my Bachelor's in Theology degree.
Because I chose to follow Him wholeheartedly, He blessed everything I touched just like His Word promises:
Jn 13:17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
After walking in that first day to the Champion center broken and shattered, eight years later I walked out a Champion woman healed and excited to live life! God restored me from drugs, alcohol addiction, painful memories, mental illness, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, and the guilt and shame from my past. God took me out of the old life, offered me a new life, and though I couldn't see it in the beginning, I put my hand in His and took a chance on Him. That was the best choice I ever made!
God also restored my femininity and healed my sexuality, which is a major miracle for me. After doing prostitution and porn I lost ability to function sexually. The fact that I can enjoy a healthy sexual relationship now is an absolute miracle. God also healed me of the non-curable disease Herpes (HSV 1-2). I was part of a special military study for pregnant women with herpes at Madigan Army Medical Center in 1996 and when I was tested they said I couldn't be in the study because there was no Herpes virus in my blood. Even though I had become infected with Genital Herpes in the porn industry in 1994, the test came back negative! I also am cancer free as the doctors were able to remove all the cervical cancer. He's Jehovah-Rophe the God that heals us!
God also healed our marriage in a remarkable way. Garrett and I have a beautiful and loving relationship and are best friends!
God has done many other miracles in my family as well. Garrett has a great job so I am able to stay home and be a Mother and do outreach to porn stars and porn addicts.. Our three Champion daughters are being raised with the knowledge of Jesus Christ. My eldest daughter Tiffany, who is now 18, has forgiven me and allows me to be a Mother to her. She has overcome many things in her life and now shares her story with others to inspire and encourage them. I am SO thankful I didn’t have an abortion because Tiffany is a beautiful brilliant young woman with so much to offer. She attends college full time and is a musician.God also restored my relationship with my parents and brother. God is good!
As you can see, Father God has been working very miraculously in my life these past twelve years. I did have to go through eight hard years of recovery. I had to make the choice to start my life over and believe what God said about me, not the lies of the devil or the lies I believed about myself. God became my true Father and He taught me how to love, forgive, and look to Him for my identity, not my past. I also learned how to live a successful life by practicing God's principles in everything. Whatever God's Word said about it, that settled it for me. I became a powerful new creature through the power of Jesus Christ, a Champion for life!
God now sends me out to proclaim to the world the reality of His awesome love. How He made each one of us in His image and that we are completely loved and accepted. How He sent His Son Jesus to free us from drugs, alcoholism, sexual addiction, rejection and all the lies of Satan. I love to show the world, that YES God took a porn star and prostitute and made a Champion out of her. God is the best Father and wants all of His children to find their way back home to Him so He can heal them and raise them up to be Champions too. But it's a choice only YOU can make.
I also want everyone to know that whatever God did for me, He will do for you. He'll do this because He LOVES you and sent His Son Jesus in order to give you a whole new life. All you have to do is come to Jesus and learn from Him.
Mt 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Do you want rest for your souls? I know I did. I was sick and tired of being beat up by life. I was tired of living everyday in survival mode. I just wanted peace and to find real love but the world couldn't give it to me. I searched for love in men, in material things, in fame and riches, in drugs and alcohol and I STILL came up empty. All I wanted was a normal life. Then I discovered the truth:
Jesus came to give you life and give it more abundantly (John 10:10).
Sure enough, I FINALLY found the life I always wanted.
Why not put your trust in God and His Son Jesus and really experience the abundant life? It may not happen overnight, but I promise you, it WILL happen. I know this because it happened for me. I am living proof that God exists, that He loves YOU no matter what you've done, and that He has a perfect plan and purpose for your life.
Shelley, American Missionary and advocate for human rights

SHELLEY LUBBEN FORMER PORN ACTRESS

Shelley Lubben is a mother, a missionary to the sex industry, fighter for truth and advocate for sex workers and porn performers who are abused by the adult industry.
Shelley is also a former porn actress fighting tirelessly against the pornography industry which affects most of the world in a destructive way. Unrelenting in the cause of human rights, Shelley is passionate to educate people all around the world about the abusive and illegally operating porn industry as well as inspire the world to stop viewing pornography and stop contributing to the destruction of men and women who are being abused daily in the pornography industry.
Shelley recently testified against the porn industry regarding the secondary negative effects it causes on industry workers as well as the general public at California State Capitol in support of AB2914 Adult Entertainment Tax bill which will tax pornography and the adult entertainment industry at the rate of 25% of gross receipts received in this state on or after October 1, 2008. This important tax measure will help individuals and families deal with the physical and emotional effects of the adult industry.
Porn Industry Facts:
Eleven porn porn stars died from HIV, suicide, homicide and drugs in 2007.
Between 2003 and 2005, 976 performers were reported with 1,153 positive STD results.
66% of porn performers have Herpes, a non-curable disease.

Because of the huge epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases, drugs and prostitution, and abuse toward adult industry workers with lack of help available, Shelley and her husband Garrett founded the Pink Cross Foundation, a nonprofit public benefit corporation created to reach out to adult industry workers offering emotional, financial and transitional support for those who want out of porn and the sex industry.
Shelley has been working with adult industry workers since 2002 when she began volunteering as a teacher and counselor at local rescue missions and prisons in the State of California. She has worked at Madera Rescue Mission, Bakersfield Rescue Mission, Central California Women's Facility Prison, and Valley State Prison for Women and has traveled throughout the United States as a speaker and counselor on the negative effects of pornography at various recovery programs, churches and secular organizations. Shelley and her team currently work with hundreds of people struggling with pornography addiction in the Pink Cross Foundation Help Forums at http://www.thepinkcross.org/ as well as reach out to thousands of porn stars and sex workers through outreach and individualized care packages.
A former stripper, prostitute and pornographic actress in the 80's and 90's, Shelley suffered major negative effects of the pornography industry and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depressive Disorder, Impulse Control Disorder and substance abuse due to years of trauma from the sex industry. In 1994, she was infected with the non-curable disease Genital Herpes while making a pornographic film and later developed early cervical cancer. Shelley had three unexpected pregnancies from prostitution acts, two ending in miscarriages. Later, with her husband, she had an Entopic pregnancy and a third miscarriage. FOUR total pregnancy losses. Shelley understands very well how destructive the pornography industry is.
After finding God through Christianity and enduring eight hard years of recovery at the Champion's Center in Tacoma, Washington, Shelley was able to live a normal healthy Champion life.
Shelley is currently pursuing a Bachelor's of Theology degree at Vision International University in California and is near completion. Shelley has attended Pierce College in Tacoma Washington for her general academics, Wisdom For Life Leadership School in Tacoma Washington and Harvestime International Bible College where she received a Christian Workers Certificate in Biblical Studies in 2003. Shelley majors in Theology and minors in Creative Writing. Shelley is also the president of the Pink Cross Foundation which is a non-profit organization that reaches out to porn stars and sex workers to help them rebuild their lives as well as helping those who struggle with porn addiction. Shelley enjoys raising her daughters, learning about Catholicism, web development, volunteering at local rescue missions and prisons, reading about great Reformers, inspiring people to never give up and is extremely involved in missionary and social work.
Shelley speaks knowledgeably on such topics as the secondary negative effects of prostitution and pornography, the Adult Entertainment Tax Bill AB2914, the truth behind the porn industry, how to overcome pornography addiction, the risks and effects of sex work, and other subjects to include Theology, Christianity,and more.
Shelley wants to warn America what the porn industry's mission is:
To completely destroy you and your family through its ability to lure you, support your addiction to porn and make a profit off of it.
Some of pornography's lies:
Porn doesn’t hurt anyone. But the statistics are clear. According to comScore Media Metrix, 71.9 million people visited adult sites in August 2005, reaching 42.7 percent of the Internet audience. At $12 billion a year, the revenues of the porn industry in the U.S. are bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Worldwide porn sales are reported to be $57 billion.
To put this in perspective, Microsoft sells the operating system used on most of the computers in the world (in addition to other software) and reported sales of $36.8 billion in 2004.
Pornography is not only highly addictive material but also promotes lies about women. "Porn," Shelley says, "exploits and devalues women. Porn converts women into objects rather then people with feelings and opinions of their own. Even soft-core pornography portrays women as sex objects who exist only to give sexual satisfaction to men. They are “pets” or “playmates” valued only from the neck down. Many porn addicts now admit they find it hard not to view women as chunks of meat because of viewing pornography."
Another lie the porn industry wants you to believe is that we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think women enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts. Please read an excerpt from my upcoming book
Many believe the widespread fairytale that women enjoy making porn movies but in reality there are no happy endings for the women of porn. Women do NOT enjoy making porn movies and a closer behind-the-scenes look will show you several reasons why.
In the world of hardcore sex, an average day on the set for a porn actress is a long and tedious process. Women are told to come in around 8 am for makeup but it's only to make sure porn actresses arrive on time to work. Porn stars have a habit of arriving late because they're often hung over from drugs or alcohol from the night before.
After make up, porn actresses usually wait around long hours until it's their turn to do their scene. Some scenes take an hour and some take several hours to film. It really depends if the male actor in the first scene could "perform" or not. It also depends if female actresses have to stop the clock because they can't handle the pain of a hardcore sex scene.
While waiting around, jaded porn performers usually end up in the rest rooms with bottles of alcohol and lines of speed or outside in their cars for a heroin fix or gathered in the back yard with other actors to smoke marijuana.
To add to the mind-numbing process, women are never able to experience sexual pleasure because of the continuous cutting during sex scenes. In the background the director constantly yells, "cut" and the flow of action is interrupted in order to get a better shot, adjust lighting or to wipe up bodily fluids. Repeatedly pornographers stop the scenes and ask actors to "freeze" in position during very hardcore sex acts, which causes great physical and emotional pain for porn actresses.
I speak from personal experience when I say to be in the middle of a hardcore sex act with several actors at the same time and told to "freeze" in position for several minutes while lighting or cameras are adjusted is extremely painful and degrading. It's also very humiliating when scenes are stopped in order to wipe up bodily fluids such as semen, feces and blood.
Despite the fact that women do not enjoy making porn movies, they continue to lie to their fans and proudly insist they enjoy making porn movies. Of course they do. They get paid hundreds and thousands of dollars to lie because this is their occupation. Porn stars are paid professional liars who know how to "act" and they do it well. In fact, because porn stars spend a great deal of time in front of the camera and never step out of character, they usually have greater acting abilities than mainstream Hollywood actors.
I used to brag endlessly to fans and pornographers about my extreme "Italian" sex drive and how I loved making porn movies. I would go on and on about how I needed more and more to fulfill my insatiable appetite. I lied 100% of the time to 100% of the people. Lying is the native language of porn stars because they can't afford to tell you the truth. Not only would it ruin the fantasy for their fans but more importantly, it would ruin the amount of their paychecks. Don't believe porn actresses when they proudly proclaim they enjoy making porn movies. They're ACTING.
Furthermore, most porn actresses admit they've experienced childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents which ultimately led them to the porn industry where they were exploited and suffered even worse abuse.
Porn is NOT glamourous.
Porn is virtually everywhere on earth. It affects everyone. No matter where you go, it’ll be in your path. It will reach you through its TV networks, pay-per-view movies on cable and satellite, Internet Web sites, in-room hotel movies, phone sex, peep shows, and magazines.
But Shelley Lubben will be there too, right in the porn industry’s face exposing its ugly naked truth and offering a message of hope to those who want out of the trap of porn.
Pink Cross Foundation: http://www.thepinkcross.org/
Shelley’s web site is: http://www.shelleylubben.com/
Shelley's Myspace is: http://www.myspace.com/shelleylubben