Memiliki Hati Yang penuh belaskasihan

MEMILIKI HATI YANG PENUH BELASKASIHAN

 Saat kita berjalan dan melihat orang berpakaian kumal dan bau badan yang menyengat menghampiri kita apa yang timbul dalam hati kita? Ada yang merasa jijik, ada yang melihat sebagai pemalas, ada yang masa bodoh saja, ada pula yang segera mengambil uang recehan dan memberi, ada yang berbelas kasihan dan lalu memikirkan dan bertindak bagi mereka yang kurang beruntung, dan masih banyak lagi tindakan lainnya. Saya tidak tahu dengan Anda, namun setiap kali saya melihat orang-orang yang kurang beruntung ini timbul pertanyaan dalam benak saya sebagai anak Tuhan bagaimana saya bisa membantu mereka. Saya bayangkan bila seandainya saya yang ada di posisi mereka dan tak berdaya apa yang saya harapkan orang lain lakukan pada saya. Pernahkah Anda membayangkan bilamana Anda yang mengalami hal tersebut terjadi pada diri Anda?
Saat saya berbagi dengan beberapa rekan tentang melayani orang-orang ini, ada saja yang sinis dan dengan angkuhnya menyatakan sebab orang-orang ini tidak mau terima Tuhan Yesus sebagai Juruselamat, atau mereka masih hidup dalam dosa sebab orang miskin hidup di bawah kutuk sedang orang kaya itu hidup di bawah berkat, atau karena mereka malas bekerja dan masih banyak lagi jawaban yang tidak memberikan solusi selain penghakiman dan pembenaran diri sendiri untuk tidak bersentuhan dengan kaum miskin.
Benarkah Tuhan Yesus hanya menyembuhkan orang yang mau mengakui Dia sebagai Tuhan dan Juruselamat? Bila kita membaca Alkitab kita akan menemukan bagaimana Tuhan Yesus bahkan menyembuhkan orang-orang yang belum percaya padaNya atau mengakui keilahianNYA. Karena Tuhan Yesus berbelaskasihan terhadap mereka. Sadarkah saudara bahwa Tuhan Yesus mati di atas kayu salib untuk menebus saudara karena belaskasihNya.Bukan karena saudara sudah hidup benar tetapi Ia mati menebus kita karena DIA tidak ada jalan lain, agar kita dapat kemerdekaan dari dosa. IA harus mati menebus kita dari segala ikatan dosa. Ada belas kasihan yang leimpah dalam DNA Kristus….bila kita mengaku anakNYA…bukankah DNA itu ada pada kita….mengapa kita kurang berbelaskasihan terhadap sesama kita?
Benarkah orang Kristen harus kaya dan yang miskin hidup kurang iman atau tinggal dalam dosa? Bagaimana dengan Tuhan Yesus dan teladan para murid? Apakah mereka menimbun kekayaan atau menyebarkannya untuk menolong sesama? Coba baca kitab-kitab dalam Perjanjian Baru. Orang dapat menjadi kaya karena karunia Tuhan, apakah hanya untuk dinikmati sendiri sampai tujuh turunan? Atau Tuhan ingin Anda menggunakan kekayaan itu untuk mensejahterakan kota atau desa dimana Anda tinggal? Tuhan melimpahi kita dengan kekayaan agar kita tamak dan egois atau untuk memberkati sesama..menolong sesama?
Bagaimana dengan orang Kristen yang pemalas, itu merupakan masalah mindset dan itu bisa kita ubah. Paulus menyatakan jangan beri makan pemalas yang hanya menggantungkan hidupnya dari belaskasihan orang lain. Bila kita mengasihi saudara kita, maka kita juga tolong dia untuk merubah mindsetnya (pola pikirnya). Sering saya dengar rekan-rekan yang mengkhotbahkan jangan hanya beri ikan pada orang miskin tapi kailnya. Saya rasa pengajaran itu atau ilustrasi itu kurang lengkap. Sebab meski diberi kail tapi bila tidak diajarkan bagaimana mengail maka ia akan jual kailnya. Apa yang seharusnya dilakukan adalah berikan ikan pada orang itu agar dia tidak lapar, lalu ajarkan cara mengail, beritahu trik mengail dan dimana mengailnya, kesulitan apa yang mungkin akan kelak dihadapi, pertemukan dia dengan para ahli mengail hingga dia bertambah wawasan dan bersemangat setelah bertemu para pengail handal, lalu beri kailnya dan jadilah mentor/pendamping bagi dia hingga ia bisa mandiri sebagai “pengail”. Dia akhirnya bisa menjadi teladan bagi yang lain.
Beberapa saudara bertanya bagaimana sebagai langkah awalnya? Saya membagikan ini semua dengan gratis, tidak ada “copyright” dalam pelayanan saya. Harapan saya copy it right dan teach it right. Layanilah sesama kita yang kurang beruntung dengan belaskasihan, perlakukan mereka sebagai sesama manusia, tolong jangan ada lagi yang menggunakan orang miskin sebagai sarana mengumpulkan dana untuk keperluan pribadi atau nama besar pelayanan/organisasi/yayasan/gerejanya. Lakukanlah dengan hati yang tulus karena Tuhan Yesus telah terlebih dahulu mengasihi kita maka sekarang kita mengasihi sesama kita.
Hal yang pertama, berdoalah pada Tuhan untuk dapat mengerti isi hati Tuhan (Matius 25:31-46). Mengerti panggilan kita sebagai anak Tuhan dan apa yang perlu kita lakukan terhadap sesama kita. Apa konsekwensinya menurut firman Tuhan itu bila kita tidak perduli?
Hal yang kedua, milikilah belaskasih Tuhan dalam hatimu. Coba bayangkan bila itu diri anda sendiri atau kerabat dekat anda atau orangtua anda yang alami. Apa yang akan anda lakukan atau apa yang anda harapkan dilakukan orang tersebut pada anda?
Hal yang ketiga, lihatlah sesama kita sebagai jiwa-jiwa yang berharga milik Tuhan, mereka belum tahu jawaban permasalahan hidup mereka dan anda yang memiliki jawaban tersebut. Selama ini mereka sudah banyak dilukai, dimanfaatkan, dan ditipu…..kini saatnya anda datang sebagai terang, garam, surat Kristus yang terbuka….teladan Kristus di muka bumi. Menjadi tangan Kristus…Kaki Kristus…telinga Kristus…tubuh Kristus yang memberkati tempat dimana mereka tinggal. Tuhan Yesus meninggalkan sorga untuk turun ke dunia yang kotor dan penuh dosa karena kasihNya yang besar.
Hal yang keempat, berdoa untuk rekan-rekan sekerja yang sehati dan sepikir. Sebab kita manusia yang terbatas dan membutuhkan rekan sekerja lainnya. Berdoa secara korporat/bersama mencari kehendak Tuhan, strategi pelayanan dan dimana harus memulainya.
Hari ini saya bagikan empat hal sederhana ini bagi saudara-saudaraku untuk renungkan bersama. Saya berdoa lebih banyak lagi orang terlibat dalam pelayanan bagi kaum terbuang dalam generasi kita ini. Doa saya belaskasih Tuhan turun atas semua anak Tuhan dan menggunakan segala daya upaya untuk menjadi alat Tuhan bagi desanya…kotanya..bangsanya….bangsa-bangsa di dunia…..
Dunia tidak butuh sekedar janji-janji manis…..mereka butuh bukti..teladan Kristus yang nyata melalui tubuhNya yang ada di dunia……GEREJA TUHAN…..Let’s get it on, Church!!!!!!!

Salam dari hambaNYA

Dave Broos
Gembala kaum terbuang
Anda dapat menghubungi saya melalui inbox FB, email atau YM davebroos@yahoo.co.uk, SMS 081330135643 dan BBM (pin 31306302)

Helping the Poor and Homeless – Start Small

By Jeremy Myers

Based on some of the recent posts from Sam Riviera about helping the poor and homeless in our communities, many people have emailed me about how they can begin doing this in their own communities.
Here is one example of a message that was sent in:

I have been following your posts for some time. You present a freshness to “Christianity” that I rarely see.
The blogger who said that he had quit going to church but it still hurts I am afraid I share that same sentiment. My husband and I stopped late last year. He for different reasons than myself but both are the reasons you and this blogger mentioned. We are older believers and have seen much.
Since I was a little girl, I have been saddened by the Church’s response to those less fortunate. Today I am deeply disturbed by how much it has become a house of hate instead of love. I don’t presume to say that all Christians are like that. I only know that one is way too many.
I would appreciate any help you can give me on gaining the courage to do what you and your family does. How do I get others involved? Thank you for your daily inspiration and love.

I think that this is a question many people have, so I decided to write a post about it.
First, I am encouraged by emails and comments like this because it shows that many people are taking the courageous step of following Jesus wherever He leads. I am convinced that “leaving church” so that we can “be the church” is one of the most difficult–but important–steps a person can make in their life of discipleship. This step is not for everyone, but I think it is becoming more and more important for people today if they want to see Jesus at work among those in our communities who are truly needy.
Second, as to how to start, Sam included many practical suggestions in his blog series about how to get started, but let me share a little bit about what we are doing in my family.
My recommendation is this:

Begin small. Very small.

How small? The biggest small way you can start: with prayer.
Pray for opportunities to present themselves. Pray that Jesus would open your eyes and ears to see where He is leading.
Then, begin looking and listening.
Listen for things people say which might allow you to have conversations with them. Or as you are reading the newspaper, look for opportunities to serve somewhere in your town. Or as you are driving around, look for shelters or organizations where you can volunteer.
So this first step is just to pray and then keep your eyes and ears open.
Then, take another small step:

Take Action.

Based on what you see or hear, begin to get involved in small ways with the things you saw and heard.
Here are some examples:
As you drove around, did you start noticing homeless people? Think about putting together some “gift bags” for them which you can quickly and easily hand to them. Get some cheap bags from somewhere online, and fill them with some non-perishable food items, a cheap tarp, some new socks, and some single-use basic hygiene items, and then put 2-3 of these in your car to pass out whenever you see someone who might need one.

Or maybe while you were running errands, you saw a homeless shelter. Call them up and see what volunteer opportunities might be available, and then talk with your husband about going down to help out one time per week.
Or maybe one of your friends said something in passing about helping the poor. Call her up and mention to her that what she said really stuck in your mind and ask if she would be interested in getting together for coffee and brainstorming about how to help the poor in the community.
So basically, helping those who are less fortunate begins with believing that Jesus wants to lead you to help them, and then praying for eyes to see where He wants to lead you, and then looking for these places or people that He brings to your attention. It will be different for everybody, so don’t necessarily think that the ways I talk about on my blog are the ways Jesus will lead you. It might be similar, but it also might be very different.
In fact, Jesus might not lead you to poor and homeless people at all. He might lead you to your neighbors or to the family down the street. Just keep your eyes and ears open as you pray to Jesus to lead you to the people He wants you to love. In the near future Sam Riviera will begin another series of posts about how to do this in your neighborhood. So keep checking back!

GIVE THANKS

GIVE THANKS
Kami mengucap syukur dan berterimakasih atas setiap sumbangan dan persembahan bagi kaum subkultur di jalanan. Terimakasih banyak atas belaskasihan bagi mereka yang kurang mampu. Pada bulan Desember lalu kami telah menyalurkan bantuan pakaian bekas, Alkitab, bahan bacaan, makanan dan bantuan finansial bagi mereka yang hidup di jalanan termasuk para pemulung, tukang sampah, anak jalanan dan bagi mereka saudara seiman yang dalam kemalangan.
Kami mengadakan hal ini bukan sebagai sebuah program tetapi lebih kepada menjadikan “memberi” sebagai gaya hidup kita sebagai orang percaya. Tuhan telah memberikan teladan pada kita dalam Yohanes 3:16, “Karena begitu besar kasih Allah akan dunia ini, sehingga IA mengaruniakan AnakNya yang tunggal, supaya setiap orang yang percaya kepadaNya tidak binasa, melainkan beroleh hidup yang kekal. Rasul Paulus pun menyatakan dan memberikan teladan,”Adalah lebih baik memberi daripada menerima” (Kis 20:35).
Kami percaya bahwa untuk memberitakan Kabar Baik tidak cukup dengan kesaksian atau khotbah, sebab kita tahu “perbuatan” kita berbicara lebih keras daripada ucapan kita. Saya ingat saat masih kecil, mama saya mengajarkan bahwa saya harus selalu jujur dan tidak boleh berbohong (Suatu pengajaran yang tentu bagus dan harus ditaati)….tetapi suatu kali ketika ada tamu datang dan mama tidak mau menemuinya….mama segera memanggil saya dan berkata,”Dave, kamu nanti buka pintu dan bilang sama tamunya mama belum pulang ya.” Pengalaman masa kecil itu membekas dalam diri saya. Sebab mama mengajarkan suatu hal yang baik tetapi beliau sendiri mengingkari ajarannya. “Orang dunia yang tinggal dalam dosa” butuh teladan hidup bukan sekedar orang “yang pintar bicara”. Tuhan memanggil kita menjadi terang dan garam dunia. Bukan hanya sekedar jadi juru bicara tetapi menjadi “kaki dan tangan” dari kasih Kristus yang menjamah dunia.
Orang-orang yang kami layani bukanlah “kaum” yang suka dilayani oleh bahkan gereja. Kalaupun ada pelayanan diakonia, rata-rata hanya melihat sebagai program pelayanan bagi kaum miskin..bagi-bagi sembako, pengobatan gratis, bimbingan belajar gratis dll (yang semuanya itu baik)….kelemahannya adalah tidak adanya hubungan dengan “kaum” tersebut. Padahal banyak di antara mereka yang ingin didengarkan dan dilayani. Sebab kaum miskin seringkali dianggap “merepotkan” dan suka meminta-minta terus. Biasanya dulu saya diajarkan agar jangan memberi mereka roti tetapi berikan mereka pancing agar bisa mandiri. Dan saya telah melakukan hal tersebut dan …….menemui kegagalan…..sebab memberi pancing saja tidak cukup….mereka butuh umpan bila hendak memancing dan terlebih lagi mereka butuh “seseorang” yang mengajarkan cara dan trik memancing dengan baik.
Apa yang saya percayai adalah kita, orang percaya dipanggil untuk memperluas Kerajaan Tuhan..bukan dengan memperbanyak bangunan gedung gereja yang megah….tetapi memperluas pengaruh kita di berbagai aspek kehidupan. Saya berpikir seandainya uang untuk pembangunan gedung gereja….setengahnya saja digunakan untuk dibuat koperasi simpan pinjam atau bank perkreditan rakyat bukanlah akan lebih bermanfaat baik bagi saudara seiman maupun orang belum percaya (dapat menjadi sarana penginjilan) atau “gereja mapan dengan omzet milyaran” bisa membangun perumahan rakyat bagi saudara seiman yang kesulitan memiliki rumah karena persyaratan-persyaratan tertentu….
Jemaat mula-mula disebut pertama kali sebagai Kristen di Anthiokia sebab orang di kota tersebut melihat gaya atau cara hidup yang sangat berbeda dengan orang sezamannya. Hingga mereka melihat pribadi Kristus dalam kehidupan jemaat mula-mula. Bagaimana dengan kita saat ini?
Saya melihat bila saudara seiman diberkati secara finansial, itu berarti Tuhan mempercayakan harta tersebut untuk perluasan Kerajaan Tuhan. Anda tentu bisa menggunakannya untuk membeli mobil Hammer, Bentley, Jaguar..dstnya…atau memiliki apartemen atau rumah di perumahan mewah atau berbelanja tas Hermes, Prada, Gucci..yang asli dan bukan KW. Tetapi jangan lupa bahwa Anda dapat berkelimpahan harta karena Tuhan. Dan Tuhan punya tujuan atas hal tersebut. Saya membaca hasil sebuah survey yang menyatakan bilamana seluruh orang percaya di dunia ini mengumpulkan 10% dari seluruh penghasilannya dan di kumpulkan maka “kemiskinan di muka bumi akan terhapus”. Wauw seandainya hasil survey tersebut valid, maka gereja dapat menjadi jawaban……sayangnya banyak biaya kita keluarkan untuk pembangunan dan pemeliharaan fasilitas. Seandainya kita dapat membangun fasilitas yang lebih sederhana dan menggunakan dana tersebut untuk membangun kota dengan pengentasan kemiskinan dengan membuka UKM atau kebodohan dengan sekolah murah dstnya.
Saya melihat teladan gereja mula-mula, mereka tidak punya fasilitas apa-apa, para rasul pun tidak memiliki fasilitas pribadi apa-apa…..tetapi mereka membuat “dunia berguncang”……bila menilik ke belakang dan melihat “dunia kita” saat ini…seharusnya kita bisa berbuat lebih. Jemaat mula-mula bisa berkembang pesat karena “gaya hidup Kristus” yang tampak dalam keseharian mereka hingga dunia yang belum percaya di sekitarnya terjamah. Dalam catatan sejarah anak-anak yang di buang di jalanan, dipungut, dirawat dan dibesarkan oleh jemaat mula-mula seperti anak sendiri…mereka juga merawat dan memelihara kaum miskin……orangtua yang sudah renta dan diabaikan dirawat di rumah sendiri seperti orangtua sendiri..dlll. Belaskasih Kristus bukan saja tercermin dalam kehidupan mereka tetapi dapat dirasakan secara nyata. Bahkan dalam Kisah Para Rasul dituliskan,”Semua orang yang telah menjadi percaya tetap bersatu, dan segala kepunyaan mereka adalah kepunyaan bersama. (Kis 2:44).Bagaimana dengan kita? Saya percaya bila kita memang terkoneksi dengan Tuhan dan memiliki hubungan dengan saudara-saudara seiman maka kita akan dengan mudah untuk memberi. Bahkan Tuhan mengajarkan agar kita membalas kejahatan dengan kebaikan,”Jika seterumu lapar, berilah dia makan, jika ia haus, berilah dia minum! Dengan berbuat demikian kamu menumpukkan bara api di atas kepalanya. Janganlah kamu kalah terhadap kejahatan, tetapi kalahkanlah kejahatan dengan kebaikan! (Roma 12:20-21).
Pada tahun ini kami pun merencanakan untuk memperlengkapi rekan-rekan muda yang terbeban melayani kaum subkultur ini di berbagai kota. Kendala kami adalah dana dan kami mohon dukungan doa agar kiranya Tuhan membuka jalan bagi kami untukmemperlengkapi saudara seiman dan melayani lebih banyak lagi jiwa yang selama ini belum terjangkau dan merasakan kasih Kristus. Bila Anda ingin menghubungi kami dapat mengirimkan email davebroos@yahoo.co.uk atau SMS 081330135643 (maaf bila telpon tidak diangkat berarti kami sedang pelayanan). Bila Anda tergerak untuk mendukung pelayanan ini, Anda dapat mendukung kami dengan pakaian bekas (mohon yang masih layak pakai) hingga dapat disalurkan bagi mereka yang kurang beruntung di jalanan maupun ke panti asuhan atau werda/jompo yang membutuhkan, bila Anda memiliki Alkitab baik baru atau bekas, mainan anak, alat tulis/sekolah atau pun dana dapat ditransferkan melalui Bank BCA no rek 0081824788 atas nama Dave Broos.
OK thanks atas perhatiannya semoga apa yang saya bagikan dapat menjadi berkat. God bless you all.

PRESS ON

Dear Friends,
Tak terasa tiga tahun sudah lewat di kota Bandung, melayani mereka yang selama ini merupakan kaum marginal dalam gereja pada umumnya. Melayani dan memuridkan mereka yang tak dianggap dalam masyarakat bahkan gereja. Banyak orang berpikir ini merupakan misi pelayanan bunuh diri. Di satu sisi ada orang-orang yang mengelu-elukan pelayanan kami dan rindu untuk belajar bersama tetapi di sisi lain banyak pula yang menganggap kami “gila”.
Selama tiga tahun kami melayani, sangat sedikit dukungan yang kami dapatkan, lebih banyak orang yang menjadi “penonton”. Mereka ingin melihat bagaimana kami dapat bertahan menjalankan visi Tuhan. Entah apakah ini bisa disebut lucu atau ironi? Semuanya tergantung dari sudut mana kita memandangnya. Bila kita melihat pelayanan dari sudut “untung rugi” atau pelayanan sebagai sebuah “karier”, tentu apa yang kami kerjakan di kota Bandung merupakan hal yang bodoh atau misi bunuh diri. Sebab kami tidak mendapatkan keuntungan material apa-apa dari orang yang kami layani, bila pun ada jumlahnya tidak signifikan dan tak tentu. Dengan segala daya upaya kami coba menggali setiap talenta yang kami miliki untuk dapat menggali dana agar visi Tuhan ini dapat berjalan.
Kami melihat pelayanan kami dari sudut panggilan hidup kami sekeluarga, kami merasakan panggilan yang kuat untuk melayani kaum yang dimarginalkan. Sebagaimana sebuah pesan nubuat yang disampaikan oleh seorang hamba Tuhan sekitar 10 tahun lalu bagi kami, bahwa kami akan melayani sebagaimana Daud berada bersama pengikutnya di Gua Adulam (1 samuel 22:1-2, 2 samuel 23:8-39, 1 tawarikh 11:10-44). Para pecundang akan menjadi para pemenang! Setiap anak Tuhan memiliki otoritas yang berasal dari Nya, entah dari latar belakang apapun dia berasal. Sebab setiap anak Tuhan merupakan ciptaan baru di dalam Tuhan. Ketika bibit Kristus mulai bertumbuh dalam diri seorang anak Tuhan (ciptaan baru) maka akan menghasilkan buah Roh dari dalam diri orang tersebut. Karakter Kristus yang ia sembah akan nyata. Kami percaya setiap anak Tuhan tidak dipanggil untuk “sekedar beragama Kristen dan menjadi anggota sebuah gereja lokal agar dapat surat baptis, menikah dan lalu dikubur”. Kami percaya setiap anak Tuhan dipanggil untuk menjadi murid Kristus, anak-anak Tuhan yang merefleksikan Tuhan yang mereka sembah. Kami percaya setiap anak Tuhan memiliki panggilan Tuhan dalam KerajaanNya. Setiap anak Tuhan yang telah lahir baru memiliki missi di muka bumi ini.
Ada beberapa tawaran bagi kami sekeluarga untuk bergabung di gereja lokal tertentu untuk membantu pelayanan mereka. Namun sayangnya mereka lebih suka kami “hanya” membantu perkembangan pelayanan mereka dan meminta untuk “melupakan bahkan mengubur” visi yang Tuhan berikan bagi kami. Hingga kembali tantangan bagi kami adalah taat pada manusia untuk memenuhi kebutuhan jasmani kami pribadi atau taat pada Tuhan meski harus melangkah dengan iman, yang mungkin berarti suatu ketidakpastian secara finansial. Tiga tahun terakhir ini kami sungguh-sungguh belajar dalam arti sebenarnya, kesusahan sehari cukuplah sehari. Percaya bahwa Tuhan akan memelihara kami apa pun situasi dan kondisinya. Kami melihat bagaimana Tuhan “mengirimkan burung-burung gagak” untuk memelihara kami sebagaimana yang dialami Nabi Elia. Ada kalanya kami pun mengalami masa sebagaimana Nabi Elia, putus asa, takut, gentar….mau mundur karena kesepian di tengah pergumulan…mencukupi kebutuhan hidup sehari-hari dan tetap melayani Tuhan dengan setia dan membantu kesulitan orang-orang yang kami layani baik secara rohani maupun jasmani. Kami belajar bagaimana harus berbagi bukan dari kelebihan atau kelimpahan, tetapi berbagi dari kekurangan. Dan kami berbahagia telah diizinkan Tuhan untuk melalui ini semua. Kami dapat mengerti apa yang Rasul Paulus katakan,”Aku tahu apa itu kekurangan dan aku tahu apa itu kelimpahan. Dalam segala hal dan dalam segala perkara tidak ada sesuatu yang merupakan rahasia bagiku; baik dalam hal kenyang, maupun dalam hal kelaparan, baik dalam hal kelimpahan maupun kekurangan. Segala perkara dapat kutanggung di dalam Dia yang memberi kekuatan kepadaku.”(Filipi 4:12-13)
Tiga tahun ini kami merasakan bagaimana kami diuji, kami ini mengiring Tuhan Yesus atau Mamon. Ternyata pada era ini sangat tipis antara kehidupan pengikut Kristus dengan pengikut Mamon. Beberapa temanku menyatakan,”Dave, kau memiliki karunia untuk hidup miskin. Kalau kami tak punya karunia itu.” Aku kadang bertanya-tanya, apakah benar ada karunia hidup miskin? Siapa sih mau miskin? Apakah aku mau hidup miskin? Tentu tidak, tetapi aku siap melaluinya bila memang itu harus kutempuh bersama keluargaku untuk kemuliaan Tuhan. Mau diakui atau tidak, kekayaan tidak bisa membeli kebahagiaan, kesetiaan dan kasih sayang dalam keluarga.
Di dalam kekurangan kami dapat melihat campur tangan Tuhan bagi kami untuk menggenapi visi yang Ia berikan. Kami dapat melihat bagaimana ide-ide baik kami runtuh dan gagal, lalu bagaimana selanjutnya pintu-pintu yang selama ini tertutup dan tak pernah terpikirkan terbuka. Kalau mau diukur kesuksesan pencapaian pelayanan yang kami kerjakan dari “kacamata” pelayanan masa kini tentulah pelayanan kami tidak signifikan. Ketika pelayanan lain membangun “kerajaan”, kami membangun pelayanan underground; ketika yang lain berupaya mempersuasi orang kristen lainnya untuk menjadi anggota gereja atau persekutuannya, kami mendorong agar setiap anak Tuhan bertumbuh dalam Kristus dan menjadi muridNya entah mereka mau bersama kami atau gereja/persekutuan yang lain…kami melihat organisasi gereja atau persekutuan lainnya sebagai saudara dan anggota tubuh Kristus, saudara seiman/tubuh Kristus tidak bersaing satu dengan yang lain; ketika yang lain coba mengumpulkan donasi sebanyaknya untuk membeli aset dan lain sebagainya, kami memilih untuk berbagi dengan pelayanan lain dan membantu saudara seiman yang tengah dalam kesulitan atau musibah. Apakah kami “sok suci dan sosial”, tidak…..kami hanya ingin hidup bergereja yang simple (sederhana) sebagai murid Kristus. Kami rindu melihat tidak ada lagi tembok diantara “organisasi gereja maupun pelayanan”, sebab kita ini satu di dalam Tuhan dan merupakan anggota tubuh Kristus. Kami tidak ingin menjadikan hal tersebut slogan tetapi mulai coba menghidupinya dalam keseharian kami. Apa artinya kita menyatakan dan bahkan mengajarkan hal yang benar tetapi tidak pernah menghidupinya…..kita harus berhenti hidup dalam kemunafikan.
Sekali lagi kami menghadapi tantangan besar di depan kami, sanggupkah kami melaluinya atau gagal? Kalau melihat dan merefleksi kesetiaan Tuhan selama ini, kami percaya bahwa Tuhan sanggup membuka jalan bagi kami. Namun bila melihat kondisi yang ada, kami merasa seolah para murid yang tengah menaiki perahu dan lalu topan badai datang menghadang hingga perahu pun hendak karam…Tuhan Yesus ada bersama mereka..tapi karena IA tidur….para murid pun mulai kuatir dan histeris. Mereka menjadi ketakutan tenggelam…hingga Tuhan bangun dan menghardik badai hingga tenang kembali. Sebelumnya Tuhan telah menyatakan bahwa mereka “akan sampai ke seberang”. Apa pun yan terjadi bila Tuhan sudah berfirman, maka kami “akan sampai ke seberang”. Rasanya kami memasuki fase tersebut, tetapi kami mau coba untuk tetap beriman..percaya padaNYA. Meski harus diakui dari sisi manusia kami tetap merasa ngeri. Dalam masa-masa ini, kami sering juga mengalami rasa kesepian. Bila kami ingat-ingat dulu saat saya masih menggembalakan jemaat, begitu banyak kawan rekan sejawat atau saudara seiman yang “seolah” merupakan sahabat sejati. Namun kala kami memilih untuk pergi dan melayani kaum marginal, kami tiba-tiba merasa kehilangan teman-teman dan saudara-saudara seiman. Saya tersadar memang suatu yang natural rupanya baik di kalangan sekuler bahkan di dunia “rohani” ternyata manusia masih memandang muka, harta dan jabatan seseorang.
Ada kalanya saya merasa hendak mundur saja dari pelayanan ini, sebab sedikit sekali rekan atau saudara seiman yang ada bersama kami untuk mendoakan dan mendukung kami. Kala saya mulai putus asa, tiba-tiba Tuhan mengingatkan saya kala IA sendiri datang ke dunia dalam rupa manusia. IA pun berasal dari keluarga kaum marginal, lahir di kandang domba…baby box-nya adalah tempat makan domba…pernah jadi pengungsi di Mesir selama Raja Herodes berkuasa, harus menjadi tulangpunggung keluarga setelah “ayah duniawi” Yusuf meninggal, diremehkan para Ahli Taurat dan golongannya sebab IA bukanlah golongan mereka..Tuhan Yesus hanyalah tukang kayu, IA disebut sahabat orang berdosa, murid-muridNYA rata-rata orang biasa dan berpendidikan rendah…tidak ada satu badan keagamaan saat itu yang memberikan donasi padaNYA malah mereka hendak menjebak dan membunuh DIA, Tuhan Yesus didukung dan mendapatkan donasi dari teman-temanNYA……Kalau Tuhan Yesus yang saya sembah pun harus melalui jalan terjal itu, siapakah kami..siapakah saya….doa saya,”Tuhan tolong kuatkan kaki dan iman hambaMU ini yang mulai goyah agar disegarkan kembali dan roh hambaMU ini tetap menyala-nyala melayaniMU. AMIEN”.
Dave Broos
Pastor of the Outcast (Ordained Minister of United Christian Faith Ministries)
Email: davebroos@yahoo.co.uk
Mobile phone: 081330135643

The Agents of Change

The Agents of Change by Dr. Patti Amsden
Beliefs – the stuff of which civilizations are formed. Beliefs – the catalysts from which movements are spawned. Beliefs – the causes for which men live and die. Differing beliefs about the nature of reality, ethics, and values lead to differing behaviors. The dominant belief of a collective people or of the leaders of a country will drive that culture. All of life grows from, is maintained by, and bears the fruit of mankind’s beliefs.

For example, a Marxist worldview gained a standing in the arena of ideas via the writings of Karl Marx in the late 1800’s. Marx postulated that the group in power propagated oppression upon those not in power. The elite authoritarians were charged with societal and fiscal evils. Liberation of the underprivileged working class, the proletariat, became the goal of the Marxist mindset; and those ideological axioms gave rise to systems of government, commerce, and various social structures.

Marxist belief generated communistic cultures including Leninism and Trotskyism in Russia or Maoism in China. Although the economic application of Marxism, with its materialistic worldview, failed to produce strong financial systems as it had promised, the ideology stills augurs its viability. The belief did not crumble with the Berlin Wall. It lives today codified as ‘multiculturalism’, ‘political correctness,’ and even ‘cultural Marxism.’

The basic belief of class warfare between the have and have-nots, the aristocratic and the hoi polloi, the rule-givers and those proles governed by the privileged continues with a present-day cultural emphasis. Minority groups such as women, African-Americans, Hispanics, and homosexuals fall under the category of those oppressed while groups identified as male, white, Euro-centric, heterosexual, capitalist, and even Christian become labeled as the oppressors.

Social Marxism has the same goals as Economic Marxism: a cultural revolution to dethrone the ruling class who propagate traditional ideas, liberate the common class with promises of equality and utopia, and inaugurate change under the title of social liberation. Marxism is a belief that manifests in actions. Beliefs do not remain isolated in academia nor are they only specimens to be examined under the microscope of rhetorical or philosophical meanderings. If social Marxism is alive in the United States, then a cultural revolution is the goal of those who embrace that maxim.

Anyone who announces that they are committed to being an agent of change is proclaiming that they will dismantle one set of axioms and replace those presuppositions with opposing and contradicting beliefs. The promise of change is prevalent on the American political and societal landscape. The discerning citizen must ask which belief will be outdated and which ideology will provide the infrastructure for the new world.

Not all beliefs are equal. There is an elitism of ideas because some are superior to others. The question begs to be answered: if fiscal Marxism did not work in Germany or Russia, will social Marxism work in the States? What our nation believes will determine the nation we will become.

THE LOST MESSAGE OF CONSECRATION

THE LOST MESSAGE of CONSECRATION
-by Lee Grady.

From reading some old books I've discovered a missing spiritual
dimension. The Lord is inviting us to reclaim it.

A few months ago I went on a special diet. I put aside all newly
published books and limited my reading to a small collection of
Christian classics, mostly devotional works by Andrew Murray,
Watchman Nee, E.M. Bounds, Charles Spurgeon, A.B. Simpson
and Corrie Ten Boom. I knew God had a message for me in those
musty pages.

I had noticed a similar theme in all these books, but it took me a
while to crack the code. These writers from the 19th and 20th
centuries wrote from a spiritual depth that I rarely see in the
church today, and I wanted to know their secret. I slowly began
to figure things out while reading A.B. Simpson's book, A Larger
Christian Life, which he wrote in 1890 when the Holiness
Movement was at its zenith in the United States.

Simpson often preached about Abraham's offering of his son Isaac
on the altar at Mount Moriah, and he called Christians to the place
of self-sacrifice. Mount Moriah, Simpson wrote, "signifies the deeper
spiritual experience into which the fully consecrated person must
come. In this act of obedience, the sanctified self is laid on the
altar just as Isaac was."

I read similar comments about consecration, or full surrender, in
Watchman Nee's The Release of the Spirit, which was first
published in China in 1955. Nee taught us that the path to
spiritual fruitfulness—and to true, intimate knowledge of the
Lord —is the brokenness of the outward man. He explained that
God uses tests and trials in our lives to break our selfish nature
so that Christ's nature can flow through us.

Nee wrote: "No life manifests more beauty than the one who is
broken! Stubbornness and self-love have given way to beauty in
the one who is broken by God."

Perhaps the reason I find so much nourishment in these old words
is that I don't hear much today about the crucified life, suffering,
brokenness or surrender. We rarely talk of altars and we avoid
altar calls. We don't invite people to a deeper spiritual realm
because few even know about such a place; often even our leaders
are too busy using God to boost their egos or to amass personal
wealth.

Today's shallow, "evangelical lite" culture focuses on self, self and
more self. Christian books today are mostly about self-improvement,
not self- sacrifice. We teach people to claim their "best life now"—
and to claim it on their terms. Our message is one of self-
empowerment: God wants to make you happy, so just add a
little bit of God to your life (on your terms of course) and He will
bless you, prosper you and make all your dreams come true.

How strange that message seems when contrasted with the old
hymns Christians used to sing back in the days of holiness
revivals. This song written by Adelaide Pollard in 1907 seems
eerily foreign today:

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the potter, I am the clay;
Mold me and make me after Thy will,
While I am waiting yielded and still.
Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Hold o'er my being absolute sway!
Fill with Thy Spirit till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me.

The woman who penned those words was an itinerant Bible teacher
who was discouraged because she didn't have the funds to make
a missionary journey to Africa. She found great comfort when she
put all her plans and desires on the altar and freshly surrendered
to God's will for her life. The song that sprung from her anguish
blessed millions, but today it has lost its popularity because we
simply don't relate.

I believe we must reclaim the forgotten message of consecration.
It is not enough to know Christian doctrines or to paint a nice
Christian veneer on the surface of our lives. God wants our hearts.
We must embrace the cross daily. It is not enough to simply avoid
the sins that our Christian culture says are the "worst"; we must
also allow God's knife to slay the pride, the self-will, the self-
confidence and the self-glorification that our backslidden Christian
culture encourages.

I invite you to reclaim this lost message by praying a "dangerous
prayer" of consecration. Let God assume the throne of your life
while you abdicate. You can pray something like this:

"Lord, You are the potter and I am the clay. Forgive me for my
selfishness. I consecrate my life to You afresh today. I give You
permission to break me, mold me, bend me and make me
according to Your perfect will. This is all the work of Your grace.
I choose to embrace whatever circumstances You must send into
my life in order to rid me of pride and self-will. I choose to live
on Your altar. As I empty myself, I ask You to fill me with Your
Holy Spirit. Amen"

-J. Lee Grady is editor of Charisma.

SOURCE- http://charismamag.com/index.php/fire-in-my-bones/

Tottaly Grace

Totally Grace

By Terry Somerville www.totalchange.org


What a contrast between law and grace!

The Old Testament ends with the book of Malachi. It is a prophetic statement of Israel’s inability to keep the law of God, the curses they experienced, and a call to faithfulness. Kingdom mindedness in the New Testament means we live as those under the grace of the cross and the wonders of God’s love.

Probably the best-known passage is Malachi 3:7-10. This is often preached concerning tithing. To contrast law and grace I’ve underlined and numbered the things that have significantly changed now that we are in Christ.

From the days of your fathers ye have turned aside from mine ordinances (1). and have not kept them. Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith Jehovah of hosts. But ye say, Wherein shall we return? Will a man rob God? yet ye rob me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with the curse(2); for ye rob me, even this whole nation. Bring ye the whole tithe into the store-house, that there may be food in my house (3), and prove me now herewith, saith Jehovah of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven (4), and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. Malachi 3:7-10


Jewish Religious Systems Replaced Grace
Between Malachi and Matthew amazing changes took place in Israel as the people became more religious, but not necessarily more faithful. By the time Jesus was born, Israel was transformed from a nation of chronic idol worshippers to being solidly monotheistic. New places of religious instruction called synagogues were now found throughout the land. The common people spoke Aramaic so Scribes and experts in the law appear on the scene, teaching from the original Hebrew language. Another new group, the Pharisees, developed a great body of religious tradition concerning application of the law to everyday life. We need to understand that even though these institutions of righteousness developed, the Lord gave no instruction to develop this religious system. It was a work of man designed to establish proper religious behavior in the nation.

Similar systems have found their way into the church as well adopting features such as the four I've highlighted in Malachi. Into this milieu of the religious establishment Jesus came preaching the good news of the Kingdom of God. How different things are in Christ. Lets compare this new life of grace to the four points of law I've highlighted in Malachi 3.
1.CHRIST PROVIDES OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS, NOT KEEPING ORDINANCES
"ye have turned aside from mine ordinances"

In the book of Malachi, the Israelites had turned aside from God’s laws and ordinances and they were being admonished to keep them once again. But the truth is that "no flesh can be justified by works of the law". For believers “Christ is the end of the law for righteousness for everyone who believes.” Rom 10:4

We are not made righteous by any work. He is our righteousness.
Additionally,
• The law of God is written in our heart by the Holy Spirit. Heb 8:10
• We are called to the law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus, Rom. 8:2
• And we have one new law, the law of love. Rom. 13:8 Gal. 5:12

WE ARE FREE FROM A LIFE OF ORDINANCES

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus made me free from the law of sin and of death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God, sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: that the ordinance of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." Romans 8:1-4

2. JESUS TOOK ALL THE CURSE. WE ARE NOW BLESSED
"Ye are cursed with the curse"

Here is a simple fact. Christians are redeemed from the curse, and blessed in Christ. The problem is that many continue to teach that Christians are cursed, usually for a failure to keep some law, such as the law of the tithe spoken of in this passage.

But we are strongly warned not to return to the law! “Are ye so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are ye now perfected in the flesh?” Gal 3:3 Lets be clear about our redemption. It is complete! Let us not make void the cross of Christ! He took the entire curse from us.

"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, being made a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone having been hanged on a tree”); so that the blessing of Abraham might be to the nations in Jesus Christ, and that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith"
Galatians 3:13-14

This means freedom from financial curses, generational curses, and witchcraft curses.
All curses. So how is it that these things seem to affect us? If we believe curses control our life, then we willingly submit again to a yoke of bondage. (Romans 6:16) rather than walking in newness of life.

Far beyond the removal of the curse, there is the great promise that we are blessed with all the fullness of Christ! We did not simply have our curses wiped out, On the contrary, all that Christ purchased is credited to my account! In Christ I am literally overloaded with blessings to pour out to others. These heavenly blessings are to be manifested through us on earth. “Thy Kingdom Come!” Healing and miracles, deliverance from devils, provisions, peace and life are ours to give to others. We are blessed to be a blessing even to the nations of the earth!

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ" Eph 1:3

3.OUR BODIES ARE GOD'S HOUSE, NOT A BUILDING
"that there may be food in my house"

What a change from the days when a few select priests would minister in a physical building on our behalf. It is finished! Today, the Lord has determined that the house of God is not a building or organization. It is our physical bodies. Yet we still ask the Lord to fill a building the way He wants to fills us! What are we thinking? We are missing the greatest of blessings. Our own spirits are the Holy Place where the Lord dwells!

"Or know ye not that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which ye have from God? and ye are not your own; for ye were bought with a price: glorify God therefore in your body." 1 Co 6:19, 20

Implications
• We are the house of God, not a building or an organization. The Spirit of the Lord dwells in us, and is present all the time!
• We are a Royal Priesthood ministering to the Lord. We need no special training or permission
• We worship in the Spirit, led by the Spirit, not by regulations and ordinances.

We manifest the glory of the Lord in our bodies! The power of God is to be seen in us and ministered to a needy world by us.

"But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in Spirit and truth: for such doth the Father seek to be his worshippers”. John 4:23
4.CHRIST OPENED THE WINDOWS OF HEAVEN, THEY ARE NOT CLOSED
Many today are teaching that the heavens are normally closed to Christians. They say the heavens open only in a special move of God or obedience to the law of tithing spoken of in Malachi. The simple truth is, Christ already opened the windows of heaven to every Christian. This was His mission at the cross! The veil separating man from God was torn in two by God Himself! We now have unhindered access to the Father!

"Since then we have a great High Priest who has passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.... Therefore let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need". Heb. 14:14, 16

"But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the first-born who are written in Heaven, and to God the judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, and to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel." Heb 12:22-24


We have been raised together with Christ. Col. 3:1 The very same Holy Spirit who raised Christ from the dead dwells in you! It doesn’t get more open than this! We have total access!

"...and has raised us up together and made us sit together in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us through Christ Jesus." Eph 2:6,7

WE ARE SEATED IN HEAVENLY PLACES
WE ARE ABOVE THE WINDOW!
CONCLUSION
Religion will always limit us to the level of our own performance and mans program. How great the plan of God is. It is TOTALLY GRACE. We are no longer limited by our religious ability. We no longer are confined to a geographical place and ancestral priesthood. We are the priesthood. We have been delivered from EVERY curse and now are blessed. Heaven is no longer closed by our sin and failures. We now have open heaven access to the Father, Jesus opened the way. How small our faith has been, but how great is His salvation!

The 21 Laws of Relationship

The 21 Laws of Relationship
by Junior deSouza www.juniordesouza.com

In society, if we break certain laws we go to prison. In relationships also, if we break certain laws we end up in a prison--a prison of loneliness, isolation, and frustration. I call this Relationship Prison. I've been incarcerated there too many times! Weren't you my cellmate?
Most of the time we go on our own. We do not understand concrete laws that govern relationships, and therefore, we break them unknowingly and repeatedly--landing us in prison time and time again. We don't have to go or stay in Relationship Prison!
Happy relationships follow laws, unhappy ones are, more or less, lawless. God strengthen us.

Relationship Pre-Laws
The twenty-one laws to follow pertain to relationships already in progress. These three pre-laws, however, are simply guides for the selection process, before relationships happen.
Pre-law #1: Relationships are abundant, not scarce --- Being in Relationship Prison too long or too often makes one feel that relationships are rare, that there is simply not enough love to go around. Consequently, we cling to whatever mediocre or malicious person that floats into our orbit. Why settle? There's plenty of good relationships to go around, if you know and follow relationship laws (Ps 34:9,10, 84:11).
Pre-law #2: Know what you're looking for --- Where there is no vision people perish (Pr 29:18 KJV). Know the type of relationship you want. Many wander from person to person hoping to be saved from themselves, their past, and their sense of nothingness and emptiness. Consequently, they become a string puppet in someone else's theater. Understand yourself and enjoy your own company, and from this knowledge establish clear values for what you want in a relationship. You can only love a neighbor as you love yourself (Mk 12:31).
Pre-law #3: Break the pattern --- Don't keep drifting to subpar people! This repetition compulsion is a subconscious phenomenon whereby we keep repeating disappointing relationships until we "fix it" and "make it right". Make a conscious effort by the Holy Spirit to engage different, more wholesome, people. Be choosy. Intentionally go against the pattern and break it. Proverbs 12:26 (NKJV): The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.

#1...THE LAW OF FOUNDATION
Relationships flourish when comprehensively founded on the person, principles, and presence of Jesus Christ.
Any relationship's outcome will depend on its deepest foundation, its truest center, its strongest motivation for existence and continuance. No other foundation exists other than Jesus Christ (1Co 3:11). Anything built upon Him and His Word is sturdy, steady, and secure, while any other foundation will prove disillusioning when visited by life's ferocious realities (Lk 6:46-49).
For a relationship to fully flourish under God's pleasure, each person must contribute a personal spirituality founded on the Lord Jesus Christ. This means a daily, vibrant, growing relationship with Him and His kingdom. The deceptive counterfeit is when a person has a mere intellectual agreement with Christianity. This is NOT being founded on the Lord, but simply a person smart enough to recognize truth. A person founded on Christ is a born-again organism that is perpetually breathing, feeding, growing, and reproducing in Him in obvious ways.
#2...THE LAW OF PERSONAL WHOLENESS
Relationships flourish in proportion to the inner wellbeing of each person.
Whole individuals make happy relationships, while broken individuals make unhappy ones. The more emotionally sound the individuals are, the more relaxed and enjoyable the relationship. The stronger the individuals' sense of personal worth and identity, the stronger the relationship. The equation is pretty common sense.
It is a fool's game expecting someone else to be responsible for our happiness. Relationships often go belly-up because one person is unwhole and unhappy internally, yet blames their partner. Your life is your own stewardship! Become emotionally whole and filled with a sense of identity in Christ (Isa 61:1-3, Lk 4:18 NKJV). Then, and only then, will you be able to pull your weight toward a great relationship.
#3...THE LAW OF PERSONALITY
Relationships flourish in proportion to personality understanding and empathy.
We all were divinely designed in uniqueness and difference (Ps 33:15, 139:13-16, Eph 2:10). This means each individual contains a distinct set of passions, values, opinions, and behaviors stemming from their personal nature. Relationships crumble when individuals compromise their basic personality, or when it is not understood, appreciated, and encouraged. On the other hand, relationships soar when individuality and empathy abound.
The Bible gives us enlightening truths about human personality, which is ultimately traced back to divine personality. Some people are naturally powerful and strong-willed, like Paul the intense leader (Ac 23:2,3, Gal 2:11,14). Some are naturally peaceable and submissive, like Abraham, the compliant partner (Gen 16:1,2,6, 23:16). Some are naturally playful and sanguine, like Elijah, the sarcastic provocateur (1Ki 18:27). Some are naturally pensive and serious, like Jeremiah, the brutally realistic and weepy prophet (Jer 20: 14-18, 15:10, Lam 1:16,20,21, 2:11, 3:48).
Understand yourself and be yourself. Though a part of you will form a new identity with this individual(s), your basic person must remain intact. Some need to discover (or rediscover) themselves before they seek to discover another. In discovering another, celebrate what you find, though it differ from you.
#4...THE LAW OF FUNCTIONAL KNOWLEDGE
Relationships flourish in proportion to the functional biblical knowledge of each person.
Functional knowledge is "knowledge that is performing." It is acting on what we know. It is the application of information. In God's kingdom, it is putting biblical knowledge to work. Functional biblical knowledge goes beyond hearing, reading, and learning Scripture, into doing, practicing, and experiencing it (Jas 1:22-25). God told Joshua his success in conquering the Promised Land depended on his functional knowledge of the Scriptures (Jsh 1:7,8). The psalmist said whoever lives by the Law of Lord will be like a fruitful tree planted by rivers of living water, prospering in anything and everything (Ps 1:2,3). God's Word! Relationships depend on it as a light and lamp to illuminate the best way (119:105). Biblical ignorance and inaction have left many promising relationships withering and wandering in a hot, dry desert.
#5...THE LAW OF ROLE INTEGRITY
Relationships flourish in proportion to the role integrity and faithfulness of each person.
Role refers to the specific "job" each person performs in the relationship to make it succeed. Therefore, role integrity refers to faithfully practicing and fulfilling that particular job.
For example, in a biblical marriage, the husband is appointed the role of leader, the wife the role of helper (Gen 2: 18, Eph 5:22-24). If they are faithful and efficient in these roles and their implications, the relationship can succeed. If not, role confusion and role reversal will give way to disorder, conflict, even termination.
Also consider friendships. Some friendships are vertical; one person is clearly the leader, mentor, and teacher, while the other is clearly the follower, learner, and protégé. If this is truly the best scenario for both persons, then the relationship can flourish only if they are both faithfully fulfilling their roles. This does not mean the relationship cannot graduate into a horizontal friendship (walking side by side as "equals", with no distinct leader or follower), it simply means that in each particular season both persons must discern and fulfill their roles for the welfare of the relationship.
For example, Jesus had a vertical relationship with the disciples for most of His ministry. He had the clear role of rabbi and they the role of students. Then, at the end of His life, He declared them no longer servants, but friends, upgrading the relationship to a side-by-side friendship and partnership (Jn 15:15).
All relationships come with roles, even professional ones. Each person must assess the nature and intent of the relationship, and, what role they must fulfill to ensure the relationship's wellbeing and success.
#6...THE LAW OF MUTUAL COMMITMENT
Relationships flourish in proportion to the commitment of each person.
The modern proverb is true, It takes two to tango! A relationship flourishes when all individuals involved are equally committed and contributive. Different types of ongoing investments will be required for different types of relationships (spiritual, emotional, intellectual, financial/material, marital, etc.). The nature and intent of the relationship will determine what investments are appropriate and relevant. Are all persons willing to invest and give, and do so ongoingly? If so, there can be success. If not, the relationship deadlocks and becomes a one-sided project. Ecclesiastes 9:10: Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.
#7...THE LAW OF TRUST & SECURITY
Relationships flourish in proportion to the trust and security level present.
Trust and security, like many of these laws, grow progressively over time with positive experiences. Everyone needs the assurance they are relating with someone dependable, faithful, loyal, and reliable. Within such a safe relationship, persons feel liberal with honesty and vulnerability, resulting in a high level of intimacy and fulfillment. Relating persons must take extreme measures and exert meticulous efforts to perfect trust and security. Without it, suspicions, accusations, and paranoia threaten to swallow the relationship whole, making us hear what is not said and imagine what is not real.
Proverbs 20:6 (NKJV): ...but a faithful man who can find? Proverbs 25:19 (NIV): Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble. Luke 16:10-12: Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?
#8..THE LAW OF LOVE DEFICIT & PROVISION
Relationships flourish in proportion to love deficit and provision.
Love deficit refers to the specific type of love each person feels they need most. These "love languages" are well summarized in The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, though each language has subtle "dialects" (variations) from person to person. Love provision refers to the other person's cognizance and willingness to regularly provide that specific type of love.
For example, David had a tremendous love deficit from the ongoing shame and rejection from his brothers (1Sam 17:28,29). God sent Jonathan as a brother-type to provide the very type of love he needed to balance his emotional debt (ch20). Instead of shaming David, Jonathan admired and affirmed him. Instead of rejecting him, he embraced and loved him as himself.
All people, to differing degrees, pursue decisions and relationships by their love deficit, with the hopes of finding the corresponding love provision and rebalancing their heart. Emotional relationships (family, romances, close friendships) are the most susceptible to the power of love deficit, yet possess an equal capability to provide for, heal, and bring balance to those very debts. When people's love deficits are overlooked and not provided for, anger, depression, conflict, retaliation, manipulation, and chaos loom. Relationships are a place where God pays off our emotional debts. Be sensitive to this and discern what role you are to play, healer or being healed or both.
#9...THE LAW OF CHANGE-INCLINATION
Relationships flourish in proportion to the change-inclination of each person.
Change-inclination refers to a person's level of desire and willingness to change attitudes and behaviors detrimental to intimacy, or, certain benign habits that simply hinder or retard greater intimacy. This translates into flexibility, adjustment, and sacrifice in any and every way necessary to ensure mutual fulfillment.
Besides other purposes, relationships were intended to change us (Pr 27:17, Ro 15:14). A stubborn goat unwilling to change will never enjoy relational happiness. They will forever remain in Relationship Prison wondering what's wrong with everyone else. Don't you be that goat!
Relationship is the merging of two (or more) worlds and the creation of a new one. Some of the elements of these worlds are beautifully compatible, some can be made compatible with patience and wisdom, and some must be sacrificed totally. A wise person who enjoys Eden-type relationships understands change-inclination very well. They are ever ready to change themselves, willing to adapt, adjust, bend, compromise, submit, and sacrifice to walk in Eden with others. Not weak-willed, but soft-willed.
We cannot change others. You know that right? Many become obsessed with rearranging or fixing others, and fail to see this is codependence at best, manipulation at worst. Personal transformation is the prerogative of the Holy Spirit and the person's freewill alone. Certainly we can apply the power of example, humility, love, truth-speaking, confrontation, and other provocative agents to motivate change, but our efforts have limits, limits we must respect and accept. When each person in a relationship has a high change-inclination, their bond will never stop ascending into greater and greater intimacy and joy.
#10...THE LAW OF PEACE-ORIENTATION
Relationships flourish in proportion to the peace-orientation of each person.
Peace-orientation refers to a person's level of zeal to achieve and maintain unity and harmony in a relationship. I am not referring to a false peace or an avoidant peace-faking, whereby one person indulges or enables another person's evils. Peace-orientation is a bentness for true, interpersonal peace that inspires one to be solution-oriented, negotiable, and most of all, loving and humble. This quality is determined largely by the spiritual and emotional maturity of the person.
Scripture has a mouthful to say about peace-orientation. Paul said to "make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Eph 4:3, emp added). In the verse before he tells us to be completely humble, gentle, patient, and loving. He also said, "If it possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Ro 12:18). Jesus said, "Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other" (Mk 9:50). Salt preserves...preserve peace. God's Word is commanding us to have a high peace-orientation.
Those with a low peace-orientation are constant perpetrators of chaos, drama, and conflict. Scripture frowns on them. Proverbs 29:8,9: Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger. If a wise man goes to court with a fool, the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace. Psalm 120:5-7: Woe to me that I dwell in Meshach, that I live among the tents of Kedar! Too long have I lived among those who hate peace. I am a man of peace; but when I speak, they are for war.
#11...THE LAW OF BLUEPRINTS
Relationships flourish in proportion to how each person wields their blueprint.
A blueprint is a preconceived model. Architects use blueprints to guide their construction of buildings. The imagination conceives it, the paper records it, and the workers build it.
Similarly, each person has a relational blueprint, a mental model of what they envision the relationship to be. This blueprint guides their attitudes, behaviors, and words, in minor and major ways. Most people refer to this simply as "expectations". It is, though, a blueprint. Their blueprint.
Relational blueprints are not wrong in and of themselves, but how people use them often is. First of all, we need to downgrade our blueprint from an expectation to simply a request. Venerating our blueprint too highly makes us selfish and self-absorbed, preoccupied with my wants and my needs. Intimacy, though, is always give first and receive last. We all have wants and needs, most of them legitimate and fair. But if we become experts at satisfying the other person's blueprint first, our faithful God will take up our case Himself and do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine to satisfy our blueprint.
Philippians 2:3,4: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
#12...THE LAW OF ATMOSPHERE
Relationships flourish in proportion to a positive atmosphere.
Every relationship has a felt atmosphere, and this atmosphere imposes moods and compulsions on the individuals involved. An atmosphere of tension and nervousness typically provokes angry outbursts. An atmosphere of depression and hopelessness typically provokes secretive scheming. On the other hand, a sunshine atmosphere of hope, optimism, laughter, and friendliness provokes reactions of life, enthusiasm, friendship, and want-to-change.
Whatever we focus on in others we bring out in them. If we focus on their negative points, immaturities, and shortcomings--and constantly let them know about it--you can be sure that mess will increase. Bad attention is always better than no attention to the nonmature. When we focus on the good we want to draw out of people, the better they feel about themselves, us, and the relationship. The less they need to act out to be attended to. Proverbs 18:20,21, life and death is in your verbal focus!
If a sunny atmosphere prevails long enough, some negativities will dissipate on their own. Soften your face (Ecc 8:1), smile more (Pr 15:30 NIV), and keep laughing (Pr 15:15)! Someone will have to dig deep, rise up, and set a new mood in the relationship.
#13...THE LAW OF BATTLE
Relationships flourish in proportion to how the individuals fight, disagree, and conflict.
Some cannot conflict without personalizing the matter. They bypass the issue at hand and digress into personal insults, cheap shots, and disrespect. They attack the person, not the problem. This leaves broken feelings and broken trust in its wake. Few people are mature and resilient enough to walk on this kind of water repeatedly.
Others talk agreeably in disputes, yet resort to behind-the-scenes scheming and manipulation for revenge. These are the "guerilla fighters" of relationships. They do not conflict directly, usually because they hate conflict, yet find their payback in secret. This happens often in marriages where one spouse cheats secretly to "get back" at their partner, yet still comes home and plays the Cleavers. Many husbands justify pornography in this way, seeing it simply as payback for wrongs inflicted.
The above examples are war crimes, inhumane and illegitimate battle tactics. They destroy relationships faster than you can say, "That's not fair!" Here are a few tips for conflicting respectfully:
Discern the conflict's nature: emotional vs intellectual Some conflicts center on feelings--then talk emotionally, honestly, and vulnerably. Some center on differing opinions--then debate facts. Talk on the same level. Crisscrossing brings confusion and misunderstanding. If the conflict contains elements of both, then talk emotionally first (validating feelings), intellectually second (discussing facts and solutions).
Always give a fair trial Everyone has a right to explain themselves. Let them. Don't assign motives. Never assume. Delay verdicts until all the evidence is in. Listen to Solomon, Proverbs 25:7,8: ...What you have seen with your eyes do not bring hastily to court, for what will you do in the end if your neighbor puts you to shame?
Stay on topic Don't bounce around from issue to issue (women especially). Address the most pressing issue thoroughly until mutual satisfaction is reached. Yahweh dismantled Egypt one god at a time, not all at once.
Be solution-oriented; negotiate You can obsess over being right or you can choose to have a happy relationship. Seek solutions, not self-justification. Do you want to be right or alone? Let gray areas be gray areas, and let disputable matters remain disputable (Ro 14:1).
Open-endedness Some conflicts do not have an immediate resolution. Recognize this and be content to let time and the Lord unfold the best outcome (Ps 37:7,34).
Reassure Relational battles can make us question whether we are truly loved or not. Ignore ego and always reaffirm your love and commitment. Sometimes this is really at the root of it all--a simple need for loving reassurance (Ro 13:8, 2Co 2:7,8).
#14...THE LAW OF FORGIVENESS
Relationships flourish in proportion to the forgiveness aptitude of each person.
Matthew 18:32-35: Then the master called the servant in. "You wicked servant," he said, "I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.
The above scripture makes me tremble.Forgiveness is a spiritual aptitude developed through prayer, time, and practice. I will not say much here because I have written a thorough teaching on the subject posted on my website (Forgiveness..can I truly forgive? http://www.juniordesouza.com/teachingsi.htm ).
I will say, holding grudges, harboring offenses, keeping a record of wrongs, silently stewing and brewing, and planning counterattacks is sin, sin, sin. It will destroy the relationship, and according to Jesus in Matthew 18:34,35, God will "turn us over to the jailers to be tortured" if we refuse to forgive from the heart and let go forever. Hard words from a very forgiving Savior.
#15...THE LAW OF COMMUNICATION QUALITY
Relationships flourish in proportion to communication quality.
This is probably the most well-known fact, but least-practiced act. All relationships crumble or soar by communication, even non-emotional ones, since the tongue is every ship's rudder (Jms 3:3-5).
Communication is the act of conveying information. Everything living depends on incoming and outgoing information to survive and thrive--animals, plants, humans, nations, organizations, armies, businesses. Conveying information in its various forms (intellectual, emotional, spiritual, financial, sexual, etc...) is the nervous system of relationship. How many relationships are paralyzed and handicapped because of a malfunctional nervous system?
Soul dialects Being a great relational communicator, first and foremost, means understanding that each individual communicates for different reasons and with different vocabulary. In other words, everyone has their own unique "soul dialect". Soul dialects can be discerned by listening with genuine interest and thoughtfulness. Conversely, when conveying information, good relational communicators use the soul dialect of the listener (as much as possible), increasing their understanding and receptivity.
Jesus often used agricultural terminology to connect with a very agricultural Jewish mind. The typical Jew had a soul dialect filled with such imagery and vocabulary. When Jesus recruited Peter and Andrew, he spoke their soul's dialect also, paralleling their fishing experience with their evangelistic calling (Mt 4:18-20). Even in the Lazarus incident did Jesus speak Martha's language, helping her grasp the greater reality of spiritual life versus spiritual death through the death of her brother (Jn 11:17-27). Just as God speaks our inner language to reach us, so also good communicators are multilingual, able to discern and dialogue with the inner language of their loved ones.
Soul dialects are the foundation of all relational communication. Upon this though, there are other communicational building blocks.
Approach Everyone communicates relationally in one of three ways: parent-to-child (talking down; directing, instructing, counseling), child-to-parent (talking up; revering, complying, deferring), or adult-to-adult (talking across; dialoguing, negotiating, co-creating). If the relationship is a mentorship, communicating parent-to-child/child-to-parent is appropriate and fitting. If it is a friendship or romance, communicating adult-to-adult is crucial. Relationships should be prayerfully pondered as to which approach is healthiest and ideal for all involved.
Meaningfulness Communication should go beyond clichés and facts (men especially). It should be meaningful, revealing honest feelings, reactions, and needs (especially in friendships and romance).
Much more could be said about communication's intricacies. However, soul dialects, approach, and meaningfulness are the central pieces upon which the rest is built.
#16...THE LAW OF PROCESS
Relationships flourish in proportion to the process-mentality of each person.
Rome wasn't built in a day. Oak trees mature in 10-15 years. Little by little Israel took the promised land (Ex 23:29,30). Some things are developed only through time, like a healthy body, a successful company, or an amazing relationship. The more of a process-mentality each individual has, the more steadily the relationship grows, the faster it will reach a seasoned, fulfilling zenith.
Relational development is seasonal. This means each season has certain challenges and pleasures. The relationship only grows as it successfully assimilates these seasonal elements. If it does not, the relationship will come to a standstill, a stagnancy, a redundancy, remaining in that very season until it successfully assimilates the elements. Like Israel wandering in the desert, the relationship will wander in its present season until it does so.
Therefore, relational development is also sequential. As the relationship successfully assimilates its seasonal elements, it graduates into a new season and evolves. The relationship deepens, expands, and matures that much more. Intimacy and fulfillment increases that much more.
A process-mentality welcomes the fact that the relationship does not have to be "There" overnight. It does not have to be ideal or amazing right now. It does understand, however, that the assimilation and accumulation of seasons will lead there. The marathon perspective of a process-mentality silences I-want-it-now demands and calms us with the fruit of patience.
#17...THE LAW OF TEAMWORK
Relationships flourish in proportion to the teamwork approach of each person.
In relationships we do not lose individuality, but we must lose individualism. Individuality is our personal uniqueness, while individualism is a bent to hyperindependent behavior. Many in Relationship Prison have not understood or embraced this fine distinction.
A relationship is a team in every way imaginable, and the goal is for the team to win. When the team wins, each team member wins. Everything--literally everything--that is felt, thought, said, or done must be in consideration of our teammate. This is often a struggle for alpha males in marriage, whose tendency is toward a detached lifestyle and individualistic decision-making. However, through repentance, truth, and Spirit-powered rehabituation, he can become the interdependent team-player God commands him to be. Philippians 2:2-4: Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
#18...THE LAW OF TASK DISTRIBUTION
Relationships flourish in proportion to the fairness and efficiency of task distribution.
Every relationship has a "housekeeping" side. Certain tasks and responsibilities need to be assigned fairly and carried out efficiently. Who will pay what bills? Who will buy the food? Who will clean, and when? Who will pay for gas? Who will pick up the kids? Emotional intimacy is euphoric, but it will quickly dissipate under the frustrations of unfair or inefficient task distribution. Little foxes ruin the vineyard (SS 2:15). Make and keep good practical arrangements satisfying to all.
#19...THE LAW OF LIFE EXPERIENCE
Relationships flourish in proportion to the overall life experience of each person.
Life experience is not necessarily a sign of spiritual maturity. Practically, though, it is incredibly beneficial to a relationship's rhythm and flow. For example, managing personal resources, dealing well with different types of people, navigating change, social confidence, cultural literacy, physical health and excellence, understanding basic economics, and other life practicalities all affect the daily rhythm and flow between people. Most of Proverbs is devoted to this.
Many spiritual Christians continue having relational frustrations simply because they are inexperienced at life in general. They can pray for hours but can't balance a checkbook. They can quote Scripture but can't conversate gracefully or intelligently. They can name every ringleader in their spiritual movement but they can't count calories. I've been there.
All this translates into life experience, or wisdom. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but have you ever wondered about the middle and end of wisdom? The beginning of all wisdom is indeed spiritual, a reverent relationship with God yielding godly attitudes and behaviors (Jas 3:13-18). From there, however, it expands to every area of our life, even the most mundane. The outer reaches of wisdom deal with informed and insightful daily living. The longer we live on this earth, if we are open to new information, the wiser we become in life's intricate nooks and crannies. This Proverbs-type wisdom makes relationships flow a million times smoother. One less conflict about anything means one more opportunity for joy...apply that to several areas of life and you have a relationship sidestepping many difficult days.
#20...THE LAW OF SOCIAL INVOLVEMENT
Relationships flourish in proportion to the social involvement of each person.
Everyone requires relational and social connections beyond the immediate relationship--friends, loved ones, and quality acquaintances. Perhaps the most prominent trait of a religious cult is that it seeks to isolate members from outside relationships. Though most of us have never been so steeped in a cult, we have all known people highly possessive, controlling, and cult-like in their relationships. This type of suffocation is very dangerous. Not only does it snuff out the sparkle and joy from relationships, but any abuse happening can go undetected and unreported for years until something tragic blows the cover.
Several years ago I counseled a lady in her mid-30s who had been abused in every way by her husband. They attended church every week. She was not allowed to speak in Sunday School unless spoken to. She was not allowed any outside connections, not even family, until finally one day she called her father from a motel room. Her husband had threatened to grind her up in farming equipment, leaving no trace of her whatsoever.
Here's the lesson: he did not begin the relationship that way. From the beginning he gave abusive clues, speaking negatively of her friends and family, planting seeds to disconnect. Little by little he closed off her social involvements until she was totally isolated and terrified of resisting or running. Never ignore abusive clues. Anything accommodated grows.
Relationships are living organisms, they must breathe in and breathe out fresh air to be healthy and growing. Good social involvement with others keeps fresh winds blowing in and blowing out. Proverbs 27:10: Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you-better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away. Hebrews 10:25: Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another...
#21...THE LAW OF DISTANCE & TERMINATION
Relationships are subject to distance or termination when the immediate or longterm safety and wellbeing of a person is at risk.
The Creator intended relationships to be life-giving, not death-causing. When the immediate or longterm safety and wellbeing of a person is at risk, relational distance or termination becomes a legitimate consideration.
Some have a faulty understanding of unconditional love, forgiveness, and patience. They think God would applaud their relational martyrdom if they let themselves be beaten to a pulp day after day, physically or verbally or whatever way. Essentially, they are licensing a destructive person to destroy them little by little, if not all at once. This is not admirable or biblical; this is fear of being alone, codependence, and struggling self-worth. Even Jesus would not tolerate certain treatment (Jn 2:23-25, Lk 4:28-30).
Harmful vs Hard We need to contrast harmful relationships with simply hard ones. A harmful relationship is one that will cause immediate or eventual damage to our wellbeing. The enemy is often, if not always, directly manifested in such relationships. Psalm 101 and Proverbs 13:20 address such.
Hard relationships are just that--hard--but not ultimately harmful. They carry the fingerprints of the Sanctifier, who organizes such uphill relationships to develop our spirituality and personality. At times we'd like to swear such relationships are "harmful", giving us excuse to cut n run, but deep down we know the Spirit is using that person like sandpaper to smooth our rough edges. We instinctively know that in the end it will produce new, life-giving relational patterns in us. Paul had a hard time with John Mark (Ac 15:37-40), but they both grew and eventually got it right (2Ti 4:11).

Unfinished Zeal

Unfinished Zeal

By Dudley Hall www.sclm.org


Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, where are you going?" Jesus answered him, "Where I am going you cannot follow me now, but you will follow afterward." Peter said to him, "Lord why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for me: Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times." John 13:36-38 (ESV)
Peter is a committed disciple. He wants desperately to be wherever Jesus is. He is not some half-hearted semi-believer. Not many could stand the comparison with him in his level of loyalty shown towards Jesus. He was willing to fight the Roman soldiers who came to get Jesus in the garden. He was always willing to put his opinion on the table even if others shot it down. The problem is that following Jesus takes more than any man or woman can produce.

In short, Peter wanted what was not available and couldn't do what he was committed to do. This could lead to some frustrated living if not addressed.

There are some aspects of God's character that are not transferable, and there are some things Jesus did that we aren't allowed to do. It seems that we grieve over these limitations and fail to embrace the privileges that are given by grace. For instance, we want to know what God knows. We can know like he knows and we can know some things he knows, but we are not God and we cannot know all that he knows. That offends the mind that wants to answer to no one except self. God is all knowing and we aren't. We seem to think that we have a right to have an answer to every question, and that if God doesn't grant our wish, he is to be doubted. He gives as a privilege enough understanding to be obedient. We have no rights except to expect him to be faithful to his promise. He has been and is.

There are so many aspects of God's character that are transferable. If we would just give up our insistence on knowing everything and being in control of everything, and concentrate of embracing the merciful, slow to anger, faithful, forgiving, nature that God has provided through faith in Jesus Christ, we would find a level of joy beyond imagination.

Peter was not yet aware that human zeal -- no matter how passionate -- couldn't keep its promises to God. That had to be exposed in him before he was broken enough to trust the grace of God.

It seems that we continue to proclaim a gospel that implies that committed people can actually live the Christian life. We must and will learn that the gospel is not about a bigger commitment on our part, but a bigger grace on God's part. It is more about him and his willingness to work in us than it is about our ramping up more commitment to be faithful to him. The more we are aware of how faithful he is, the more our faith grows.

Peter was later to discover that God's commitment to him was so overwhelming that trust in God was the only viable option. He would later be martyred for Christ because God was faithful to him and enabled him to stand fast beyond human capacity.

Don't settle for human zeal that will ultimately fail when you can have a faithful God who never fails.

"The Road Less Traveled: A Spiritual Exhortation"

"The Road Less Traveled: A Spiritual Exhortation"
By John Wallace John's Website


On a recent morning as I was talking with the Lord, I heard Him say, "Read 'The Road Less Traveled.' It is a spiritual exhortation for this hour." It's interesting (and part of what the Lord wanted me to get) that He called the poem "The Road Less Traveled." Although that is the name by which it is commonly known (due to the phrase used in the next to last line of the poem), this is not the poem's real name. Robert Frost wrote this poem in 1919 and entitled it "The Road Not Taken."
"The Road Not Taken" has been a source of inspiration for people all over the world because of its seeming ode to individualism and free choice. A very literal interpretation of the poem would say that the poet came to a choice, one path to follow or the other, took one, and it has made all the difference in the world. That, however, is not the complete story. In fact, Frost himself once said of this poem, "You have to be careful of that one; it's a tricky poem—very tricky."
Frost wrote the poem after returning from a stay in England. While there he became good friends with another poet, Edward Thomas. Thomas would take Frost on long walks into the countryside to show him various plants, trees, etc. More often than not, when arriving back home, Thomas would sigh and regret that he didn't take Frost another way and show him something else. When Frost returned to America, he wrote this poem as an ironic jest toward Thomas and toward those who were always regretting the decisions they made in the past.
Don't Look Back—Face Forward
The point the Lord is making, I believe, is found in His own words in Luke 9:62: "No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the Kingdom of God." The context is the challenge Jesus offers to one who wants to follow Him but first wants to say goodbye to home, family and friends. Jesus is saying that the Kingdom isn't for "looking backers." The Kingdom is for those moving ahead.
This being "a spiritual exhortation for the hour" is the Lord's way of telling us to look ahead, not backward. I know people, perhaps you do too, who live their lives in the past. They live in regret, often sighing (as the one in Frost's poem) about choices they made. "What would life have been like if I had chosen the other path?" They live in long-finished successes or failures, past relationships now broken or gone, finances lost or squandered. They long for "the good old days."
The Lord is encouraging us to face forward, not backward. We have been given "plows" (divine purposes, plans and designs) for our lives. If we try to plow looking over our shoulders we will, at best, plow a crooked row. At worst we will be stopped in our tracks. I have a set of grandtwins who have just learned how to walk. Rather, they went from crawling to running. They have a habit of running forward while looking backward. They usually hurt themselves bumping into furniture, tripping over things on the floor. Looking backward hurts.
One gentle warning from a prophetic person—it's also dangerous to live in the future all the time. I know. I've been doing it for years. Because the Lord has given me the gracious gift of "seeing" things He desires, it's very easy for me to believe and then live like those things are already taking place. What I've missed out on is the present: present relationships, present acts of the Lord, present reminders of His presence and power NOW.
But, as I wrote in my last article, The Kingdom of God is advancing. And advancing with it, I need to face forward. Perhaps I need to quickly acknowledge the past—God's goodness, mistakes I can learn from—but move on. I think that's the big emphasis coming from the Lord's voice: MOVE ON.
People are waiting down the path we have taken. Healing is waiting down that path. Deliverance and forgiveness and reconciliation and restoration is waiting down that path. The Kingdom is waiting down that path.
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
John's Bio: Currently, John and Suzanne are Community Leaders of Blood n Fire Dallas, a community with a vision "to reach, raise up and release the younger generations to advance the Kingdom of God among the poor of the earth." John Wallace was born and raised in Shawnee, Oklahoma. After graduating from Shawnee High School, he attended and received a B.B.A. from the University of Oklahoma. While at OU, John and his future bride, Suzanne Martin, met. John then graduated from Baylor College of Dentistry in Dallas, TX. After graduation John served as a dentist in the U.S. Army for two years. John and Suzanne moved back to Dallas for almost 10 years of private dental practice. From 1981 to 1986 John attended Dallas Theological Seminary, graduating with a Master of Theology degree. He has, subsequently, pastored local churches for the last 24 years. John and Suzanne have 6 children: Jason (wife Alison), Brennan (wife Lisa), and Lindsey (husband Chris), and two grandchildren, Austin Wyatt Wallace and Caleb Sage Wallace.